Autism and Challenging Behaviour

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Autism and Challenging Behaviour Part Six. A trip to the dentist and brushing those teeth.

Dentists and Autism

Dentists and Autism

 

When I was young any mention of a visit to the dentist would create a shiver of horror and fear right across the school yard.

In fact, in my case, there was not a whole bunch to worry about in dental terms.  But for a child with autism this may not be the case.

Having talked to  a lot of parents of children with autism I believe dental care may be more than a bit of a worry.  Firstly there is the task of brushing teeth and then there is the sensory overload of a tip to the dentist itself.  The aim of this blog is to give parents and people with ASD the opportunity to share their tips for great dental hygiene.

 

In the case of our seven year old we have eventually found some solutions but, I have to say, with plenty of hiccups along the way.

In fact cleaning teeth is actually helped by his ASD.  One of his sensory “pressure points” is at the back of his mouth along the gums.  So in fact the act of his cleaning his teeth is not a problem at all.  He rather enjoys it.  What did prove to be a problem was getting him to remember to clean his teeth.    What my wife has done is so simple I have to describe it as an act of genius.  Each evening she and John play a game just before going to bed.  The game?  Cleaning your teeth.  In fact he now reminds us it is time to play “cleaning your teeth”.  There is a song to go with it but I’ll not share it for reasons of aesthetics.

Visits to the dentist on the other hand have proved harder.  But we got lucky.  In a conversation with the local Early Years Centre (who provided a lot of the initial support including PECS training) it was mentioned that one of the local NHS Health Centres has a specialist autism clinic once a week. (I should mention that for reasons totally unknown to me they do not publicise the clinic.)

Actually the practice is not that different from other dentists.  Where it does vary is that a lot of the children’s posters are removed from the walls.  Also the staff have been training in behaviours associated with ASD and know how to help in case of meltdown or over stimulation.  But their real trick is to give plenty of time for John to get used to the surgery.  In fact on his first visit they did not look at his teeth.  Rather they let him play with the safer instruments and go up and down on the chair.  By the end of 30 minutes he was very keen to come back and play some more.

Since then he has had to have a couple of interventions.  Both have gone without issue as he has a social story to look at and the procedure is clearly explained in bit sized chunks and carried out at a speed that meets his need.

And the overall outcome?  His latest ambition is to become a dentist.  Not just a dentist but the first dentist on Mars!

So my real advice to other parents looking for a suitable dentist.  Is google for autism specialist.  They do exist and they are very good.

But over to you.  It would be great if you could use the comments box below to share how you deal with your child’s dental health.  Perhaps you might like to consider some of the following questions:-

a)      Do you have any concerns and challenges with your children dental health and visits to a dentist?

b)      How did you establish a teeth cleaning routine?

c)       What is a typical trip to a dentist like for you?

d)      Do you use a specialist dentist?

e)      What advice would you give to another parent of a child with autism who has similar issues?

I really look forward to reading your responses.

Many thanks in advance.

NikkiZumbachHarken I actually am working with a Dentist in creating a ‘plan’ to use for ANY ASD children visiting the dentist (including sensory advice, social stories, and gradual appointments)  Would LOVE to share what we are doing.  If you are interested in being a part of what we are doing please email me nicholekea@gmail.com
Tami Kaye Every morning is a struggle and an argument with my 11 year old son to brush his teeth. I always find it odd because I try to enforce routine and schedule because that is so important. It just seems like after getting up for school for the last 6 years, that routine would have became a natural thing to do. I understand that it is a sensory issue but such a simple thing can disrupt an entire morning for the family. I try not to let it become a power struggle!! I do not want a toothache in that sensory mouth. Been there and done that.

We have been pretty lucky with dentists appointments. The exams go well and the results are usually good as well. a few years ago he did have a cavity and a toothache. It was terrible 🙁  I try to use that as a reminder to why it is sooo important to brush.

I would love to hear any suggestions or ideas. HELP 🙂
SarahFlores Yes, I finally broke down and called a pediatric dentist in wichita, we have a consultation schedule for June, it’s 3hrs away from us but in talking to them and looking on their website I think this is going to be the best way to go 🙂
MaryHayden SarahFlores  Have you tried an incentive or reward? My son, almost 8 now, has a hard time with the dentist. He chooses a reward before hand, something reasonable. He gets that reward if he does well and cooperates for the dentist. I find that a reward system works for my son with most things but the dentist is still a challenge. He also has to know what to expect so we talk about it at least a few days before we go. He usually does a lot better when he knows what’s coming. We use a pediatric dentist, they are good with him. I don’t know if we have any dental programs for ASD or special needs kids in my area.
AmberWilder My 3 year old son use to hate brushing & flossing his teeth but I kept at it and now he tolerates it but still hates going to the dentist lol.. I started out with him on the ground with his arms under my legs, his head between my thighs and have bite on the end if a toddler toothbrush while I brushed his teeth with a different toothbrush.. He hated it at first but I knew I had to keep at it and eventually he didn’t mind it as much so now I’m able to floss his teeth with little floss picks. When I started flossing I also had him bite on the end of a toddler toothbrush. Now I’m able to floss and brush without having him bite on the end if a toothbrush ( the dentist has a biter stick that helps too). It’s definitely hard at first but once you desensitize them it gets easier. He just had his 2nd visit to the dentist and that was a lot if work but I’m hoping if I keep at it that it will get easier 🙂
Choirgirl64 luciecc One thing that works for my son is instead of using the mirror to open and examine, he uses a toothbrush.  My son is used to opening for the toothbrush and enjoys the sensation, so actually will open very wide for the dentist to have a look.  He won’t let a metal mirror in at all.  Perhaps they should invent a plastic toothbrush looking mirror.  When he needs work, even a cleaning, he is put under anaesthetic at the hospital. That has always gone very well.  We’ve had three of these.  He’s 19 now.
Ymkje Wideman First Visit to the Dentist

I approached my grandson’s first visit to the dentist
with some trepidation. When he was little, his Sensory Processing Disorder
(SPD) made brushing his teeth a daily challenge. Still, with persistence, and
experimenting with the brush and toothpaste he liked best, we had settled into
a good routine. He would gingerly “brush” a little bit, and I would finish by
standing behind him, holding his chin with one hand, and gentle brushing until
all his teeth were clean and free from “sugar bugs”.
He only tolerated very little toothpaste on his brush,
which I’d rub into the bristles with my finger, so he’d hardly see it, because
if the gel or paste was atop the bristles he always protested—and he still
does. It must be something about the texture or taste that makes it hard for
him to handle.
I knew his first check-up would include the
hygienist brushing his teeth and applying fluoride, so I was concerned it
wouldn’t turn into a scene. I researched a bit and found Autism Speaks’ very
helpful Dental Tool Kit. You can find and download it here: http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/tool-kits/dental-tool-kit.
I called several local dentists before I settled on
one who understood and was willing to accommodate my special requests for my
grandson’s visit. I emailed and sent information about autism and his needs
ahead of our visit, which they read and acknowledged.
Just after we arranged the appointment, we happened
to visit the local Children’s Museum, which included a “dentist office” with a
real chair that went up and down, an X-ray apron, and some of the “tools” a
dentist uses. It was perfect visual preparation for his upcoming appointment. I
also prepared at home by writing a picture story for Logan, which we went over
repeatedly, and which he carried with him to refer to during his check up.
The staff was so accommodating, and they really
took their time to reassure him and make sure he was comfortable with
everything they were going to do during the check up. I’d asked if I could
bring his own toothpaste, which they said was fine, and they were careful to
show him that they’d just used a little bit.
It took a little longer than a regular trip to the
dentist might take, but all the preparation paid off, and his first visit was
nothing but a pleasant experience for him, paving the way for future successful
visits.
SarahFlores any advice would be great I have to threaten grounding to get him to cooperate for his cleanings and sometimes that doesn’t even work, he is atypical autistic in the grey area between autistic and aspergers, so what works for either side doesn’t necessarily work for him 🙁 next visit they want to do sealants since he turned 8 this year. so looks like I’m in search of a new dentist, it was suggested that I take him to a pediatric dentist….any ideas? he loves brushing his teeth and always reminds me if I forget
DJBlytheII The first time I took Kaylin to a dentist it was a nightmare. As a single dad, I am usually accused of abusing her after someone sees her meltdown. This is what happened at her first dentist appointment. The dentist pulled me aside and interogated me as if I had been mistreating her. I get this a lot but i never get used to it.
Now, I have found a dentist that treats many ASD, SPD, ODD kids and they are awesome! Kaylin just underwent oral surgery and did great.
If your in the Denver area, check out Ridgeview Pediatric dentistry at The Orchards shopping center Westminster, CO. Not only did they take good care of my lil girl but they didnt treat me like a bad dad!
15 Comments Posted on Autism, Patient Talk

Autism and Challenging Behaviour Part Five- Getting a Haircut

Autism and haircuts

Autism and haircuts

Now when I was my son’s age I have to admit that I hated getting my hair cut.  I think it was the boredom of waiting so long for the barber to get round to me that did it.

But with our son John this is not the case at all.  He hates having a haircut and when I mean hate I really do mean hate.  So much so on one of his first outing to my mother’s hairdresser the people from the shop next door came over to see if there was a problem.  So meltdowns were the order of the day.  You can find some great tips for dealing with meltdowns in the comments section of one of our older blog posts here https://patienttalk.org/?p=2349.  Why?  Well in John’s case he has sensory processing disorder which means the feeling of having his hair cut is, to him, one of massive overload of the senses.

Over the years we tried various strategies.  These included cutting his hair at home by a professional hairdresser who is also a friend.  The poor woman ended up cutting her hand with her rather sharp scissors during the haircut as John attempted to do a runner!  We also went to a specialist autism hairdresser.  The problem was that she was only available during the hours that my wife and I were at work.  Even if we could have made it would have taken around an hour’s journey to get to the venue.

So how did we solve the problem?  Well actually luck rather than judgement.  He rather desperately

Autism and haircuts

Autism and haircuts

needed his hair cut and our then nanny Willow offered to take him.   It turned out that she had spotted a local barbers shop which she thought could help.

I had a haircut there yesterday so I thought I would take the opportunity to show what the big draw for Willow was in two pictures illustrating the blog.  As you can see they have a car.  One John could sit in.  And you can see the TV as well – offering a section of the finest space-related cartoons that humans can make.  Not just that – in his hand was Willow’s iPhone with an exciting game of “Angry Birds” on the go.  Did it work?
Well more or less.  His hair got cut and no one went to hospital.  But most importantly he started to calm down when his hair was being cut.  So yes it is a rather incremental thing but it worked for us.

In fact these days he is happy to grasp an iPad and  have his head clippered as long as it takes less than five minutes.

That’s how we did it.  How about you?  One of the objectives of blog posts like this is to get other members of the autism community to share their experiences with others.  It would be great if you could share your story about getting haircuts either for yourself or your loved one.  Please feel free to use the comments box below to share.

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You might like to think in terms of the following questions:-

a)                        Did you have particular problems with haircuts?

b)                       What was the root cause of the problems?

c)What techniques did you use to overcome the problem and end it with a cut which worked?

d)                       What advice would you give to a parent about to embark on the hair cutting  autism journey?

And finally there is another option.  Don’t bother.  One of the boys in John’s class (they all have ASD) just has long hair.  It’s clean and looks great.  Albeit a bit heavy mental fan circa 1980.  So that may prove the best way out.

 

Kylesmum My 5 year old will have a meltdown with every haircut but the funny thing is that he will keep still … it’s so hard for me to watch cause what we do is that my husband will cut his hair with the clippers whist my son is sitting in the bath (empty of course) and he puts up with with about 10-15 mind of very emotional crying, trembling and sweating but once he is done he hits the off button on the machine and my son will start so sing and laughing with relief.
We have tried to put him in the empty bath with lots of thing to try to distract him but nothing seems to work e.g. iPad, favourite toys, turned the bath into a ball park nothing seems to calm him but as I said the only good thing is that he wount fight it and he can get his hair done quickly
Kylesmum My 5 year old will have a meltdown with every haircut but the funny thing is that he will keep still … it’s so hard for me to watch cause what we do is that my husband will cut his hair with the clippers whist my son is sitting in the bath (empty of course) and he puts up with with about 10-15 mind of very emotional crying, trembling and sweating but once he is done he hits the off button on the machine and my son will start so sing and laughing with relief.
We have tried to put him in the empty bath with lots of thing to try to distract him but nothing seems to work e.g. iPad, favourite toys, turned the bath into a ball park nothing seems to calm him but as I said the only good thing is that he wount fight it and he can get his hair done quickly .
MylaBides my husband and i used to wait until my daughter was asleep before we cut her hair. that was until she was 8-9.

then we bought clippers which we first used on my younger son while she watched. when it was her turn, she didn’t protest. maybe because she saw my son was alright. or maybe because she was playing around the playground, walking around while my husband followed her around.

of course he had to use rechargeable clippers. the wire simply will not cut it–pardon the pun!
Timingreenville At that age he would sit in my, his dad’s, lap.
Timingreenville We were very concerned with taking our 16 year old. I spoke to Christian at Great Clips as she cut my hair. She said to bring him in and they would work with in. A big issue with us is getting him in and out of the car. Transitions can be very hard for him. This time he sat through and shocked my wife and I. Then he got up and had to turn off the lights. I tried to prevent but he had to do it. Then he walked right out like no big deal.
Now with summer we will buzz him outside on the deck. He has gotten better about getting around his ears. It tickles.
SarahMKInnes My (almost) 7yr old (ASD and ADHD) just had his hair cut today. He will only have it cut at Sharkey’s (kids haircutting place) and will only allow the hairdresser use scissors – NO clippers whatsoever. Today there was a minor meltdown when he found out that their Super Mario game had worn out and they threw it out (he is obsessed with Super Mario) but once we got over that he was a bit squirmy but made out ok. I find what helps is if the hairdresser warns him beforehand (eg. “I’m going to spray some more water now”). We also try to make sure it is the same person every time that cuts his hair.
SneakyMumInOmaha Read SneakyMumInOmaha
SneakyMumInOmaha My 5yr old screams bloody murder everytime we try to cut his hair…except for that time when he woke up with a buzz cut. Oh yes I did. The trick is to turn the clippers on from a distance and then walk toward him. They’re pretty loud when you fire them up. And make sure your clippers are well oiled so they don’t pull his hair. You don’t want him waking up with a partial buzz-cut. And you’ll want to lay a towel down for easy cleanup and an itchless night. Good luck 🙂

 
sneedley13 Similar to PeterKijek below , our biggest problem was getting Connor to sit still in the chair. He also like to look around and see what everyone is doing. He now plays with the iPad/iPhone when he’s in the chair. We have found that he is much better when his Dad takes him rather than me, usually because he will get his hair cut at the same time (first) so Connor can see it, although we still have problems around the ears, either with the clippers or the scissors!
marionburns TiffanyIvison  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=106711162797745&ref=ts&fref=ts

get in touch and i will talk you through some tips .
TiffanyIvison I have not found a way to make it work yet and am open to suggestions! My son is almost 2 and was just diagnosed with Autism, we already knew he had SPD. He was born with a lot of hair so we have had to visit the hair dressers many times and it gets worse with each visit. We are due for another cut soon and I have anxiety just thinking about it.
EricaPurtell I’ve found that if my Partner (his father) gets his hair cut first with my son watching we’re all good until we get to trimming around the ears- that’s the only thing we have a problem with….
lifeisarainbowmummy My son is actually sensory seeking at times and he loved my hairdresser who offered head massages even as a baby so he looked forward to getting his hair cut. We had major issues when my hairdresser went on maternity leave but we managed to convince him to let my new hairdresser cut his hair. One interesting thing we have found is that our son dislikes parting with any part of himself, after every haircut he has had, he has got down on the floor and picked up every last hair… thankfully he has the angelic looks to get away with it and hairdressers happily provide him with a bag – and we have a money bag full of hair for every single haircut he has had in the last 6 years! We even have a little tub of nail clippings (bag over head) as he would not let me clip his nails which he despises unless he could keep them. He was also terrified of losing his first tooth and sobbed for an hour when he realised his tooth was wobbling as he was terrified the tooth fairy would take it from him. We had to promise he could keep it in his sterling silver my first tooth box and wrote to the tooth fairy to ask if he could keep it. He still got a pound and a very reassuring letter from the tooth fairy!
marybethpalo I too had the same problems – what I had discovered was that my son not only learned from video but also we could film future events like a hair cut and the anxiety basically disappeared.  So – I used video modeling for years to teach and to familiarize my son with situations.  Seeing a man getting his hair cut up close and being able to watch it over and over seemed to do the trick.  We had been cutting his hair at home, in the bath tub, on the swing – you name it we had tried it!
PeteKijek Actually, I have had a similar experience with my autistic son. His main problem was not sitting still in the barbers chair, and he constantly looks round to see what the barber is doing! As you’ve mentioned, the TV nearby is a great distraction for him, (he’s a bit too big and too old for a car chair now 😉 ) but he also enjoys looking in the mirror at what the person is doing. I think he never quite understood how what was happening in the mirror was what was happening to the back of his head!


44 Comments Posted on Autism

Autism and Challenging Behaviour 4 – Eating and getting the right Diet

Autism and diet

Autism and diet

This is slightly different from my usual blog post about autism and challenging behaviour.  The previous posts have enabled me to share at least some partial success with our son overcoming some of the behavioural issues related to autism and ASD.  But with this blog I’m looking for help.

Yours if possible.

Okay what is the problem?  Well our son John has a rather limited diet.  Now it is not unhealthy but it is very limited.

And when I say limited I really do mean limited.  He will eat strawberries, apples, bananas and pears as far as fruit goes.  For vegetables he will only eat carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and potatoes.  Protein is chicken nuggets, fish fingers, lentils, sausages, smoked mackerel and baked beans.  Oh and the occasional cheese sandwich.  He will eat white rice and some bread as well as occasionally cakes.

He thinks he likes pizza – but not in practice.

While he is happy to eat more than one thing at a time he likes them on different parts of the plate.

Hands, of course, are infinitely preferable to a knife and fork.

Both my wife and I would rather like John to widen his eating palate.  Indeed my wife has tried to introduce new foods to which the official reaction is “Yuck”!

That being said we are told that he is happy to eat meals at school.  So it could be a question of set and setting.

So this, then, is the point of this blog.  We would love your advice!  Can you tell us how you managed to help you child (or yourself) develop wider eating habits.  In particular we are interested in some of the following questions:-

1)    How did you get your child to eat different foodstuff?  What techniques did you use?  What worked and what didn’t?

2)   How did you teach your child table manners?

3)   Are you concerned about the nutrient value or your child’s diet?  Have you been to a dietician?

4)   Can you go you restaurants with your child?  Do you need an iPad?  We do.

5)   What about food at school?

Please feel free to add anything else you think may be of use to my wife and me using the comments box below.

Thanks very much in advance

PS  John does go to fast food joints but won’t eat the burgers.  And he hates ketchup.

PPS My mother tells me he was once spotted eating an Orange.

Here are some of the tips we were given by our readers.

 

I wish my 21 yr old son with aspergers ate half of what your child does any tips would be appreciated. As his diet is 3-4 items the only veg is in form of a chip

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Hi! 26 yo autistic. I don’t see any problem with how your child eats. I’m still like that and I’m perfectly healthy. The only thing that may have to be changed is the hands instead of fork and knife thing.
1) How did you get your child to eat different foodstuff? What techniques did you use? What worked and what didn’t?
My parents have told me that, when I was 3, I would eat lentils only. They gave me some supplement to increase my appetite and that started to change.
2) How did you teach your child table manners?
I don’t remember how they taught me, but I do remember asking them to give me the food when I was 4, because I got bored of eating by myself.
3) Are you concerned about the nutrient value or your child’s diet? Have you been to a dietician?
My mother gives me a variety of food so that I eat a little bit of everything.
4) Can you go to restaurants with your child? Do you need an iPad? We do.
I used to cry a lot at restaurants and there weren’t iPads or tablets at the time. They didn’t refuse to bring me there, anyway.
5) What about food at school?
I couldn’t eat at school until I was 7 as, before that, I hated the food and used to cry a lot. Then, I started to tolerate the school food, and I liked some things even better than home-made food.
Don’t worry. Your kid will be fine!!

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Your sons diet is WAY better than our kids, we are in fact working towards a diet like his. I’ve come to understand that this is because our wee man has fairly profound sensory integration issues & new tastes are akin to something like an electric shock of revulsion – making widening his pallet very challenging indeed. Thus I have no advice, the only thing we’ve found that helps is allowing him to ‘experiment’ with food. ‘Experimenting’ in this context is touching, smelling, discussing items on a plate with no expectation that he actually eat them. He usually does this with an occupational therapist and we follow up with repeated exposure. This is an extremely SLOW process. We tried every other conceivable thing we (+ a team of specialists could think of) so naturally we will be following your blog with interest !

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You have got to find his carrot so to speak. My son has a severely limited pallet eating a toaster streudel and pediasure for breakfast chicken nuggets for lunch and almost always cereal unless we have cheese pizza. He eats no meats with the exception of chicken nuggets and they cannot be homemade or chicken strips! The thing about it is… We set a goal of 5 new foods to try each week. Generally this is a meat or fruit or vegetable since I feel these are most important. I give him something to work towards such as 1new pokemon card or a trip to the pool. However we have been doing this for months and is somewhat time consuming to really push him to take the 1 bite he has discovered he likes watermelon… But all seeds have to be cut out. This is a win in my book since he wasn’t eating any fruits or vegetables and no real meat… Just processed chicken nuggets. He gags on almost everything and literally cries but i feel it is worth it. Good luck

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I hear ya on everything! My son peels fish fingers because he doesn’t like the texture of crumb, but he’ll eat the crumb off schnitzel, as long as he eats the meat of the schnitzel separately. He’ll eat chicken nuggets, but only 1 brand. He’ll eat hot chips, but only straight cut, and they have to be crunchy on the outside and mushy inside like mashed potato, but he won’t eat mashed potato. I too am tired and I 100% agree that life is too short to argue over food. We keep putting new and old foods previously refused on his plate and he is slowly widening his food choices. He’ll eat bananas for fruit, and quite a few meats now and the struggle continues. He’s growing well so I’m ok with it.

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Eating at home was always at the family table, not on the sofa or in front of a computer.  We treated it as a social event too, so no TV or radio on in the kitchen whilst eating.  The table would be set out with the tablecloth, dinner mats, teacups, knife, fork and spoons, bread and butter in the middle, and the tea tray at the side with a teapot, little jug of milk, a sugar bowl, salt, pepper, vinegar, and sauces.  It would be a ritual with warmed plates brought to us with the meat already on it and the veggies then served hot from the pans.  My mother would then serve the veggies as we were all sat down and we waited until everyone’s plates were ready before digging in.  If I refused to eat any of the veggies she wouldn’t serve them me anymore nor would she ask if I wanted them.  She left me to ask why I didn’t get any and told me that it was because I didn’t like it, to which my response usually would be “yes I do” and then she’d offer me some of hers and watch me eat it before taking some more off the pan for herself and then asked if I wanted more.  The rest of the ritual before eating involved passing of items from the tea tray around the table rather than grabbing it ourselves by asking “could you pass the salt please?” so we were socially interactive (I had to ask with the word “please” at the end or I’d get eyeballed and asked what else I was to say.)  We were expected also to have manners around the table which involved elbows off the table, no chewing with your mouth open, no talking with your mouth full, and to use the knife to cut food rather than waving a big piece on a fork.  If you had to spit something out for some reason (bones, fat) then my mother would fetch a roll of kitchen towels.  This eating ritual was also practiced at my great aunt and uncle’s house and at my aunt’s house so it became the norm for me.  Only thing I didn’t like was being told I’d get no pudding if I didn’t eat all my dinner, but when you’re full you’re full so it wouldn’t have made any difference if I ate all my dinner or not I’d still get no pudding.

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amyshine79 Check out the awesome products from “Make Eating Fun!” Their unique and fun interactive nutritional games/stories can help! The product line offers exciting food adventures for children and their families to enjoy and have fun with together!  http://www.makeeatingfun.com/ Here’s also short video which explains a bit about the system.. https://youtu.be/2uQ5rVLS1nU

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SarahEmeryBradley My stepson is 6 and when he and his father moved into my house he was eating a waffle with strawberry jelly for breakfast and dinner and pb&j for lunch every day. He would eat apple banana or orange and loved strawberry yogurt (no lumps). After two years with him he is now completely off jelly waffles at our house. He has cereal in the mornings, still his pb&j for lunch and for supper, high protein mac & cheese with cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, and green beans. He’ll also eat raw celery and cucumber. Last weekend he ate haddock! I put cheese and Ritz crackers on it and called it cheesy Ritz (the word fish would have sent him gagging). The trick for me was a special cafeteria plate with compartments, and sooooo much patience. Each of these new foods took at least two hours of sitting with him and playing games, for him to even nibble them. We’d touch them, smell them, kiss them. Pretend to brush our teeth with them, put them on our heads, he would feed them to me, anything silly thing I could think of. Each step received praise, clapping, dancing, anything that kept him smiling. I also tried a rewards system with small dollar toys wrapped like birthday presents. After eating a new food he was allowed to choose from the birthday basket that was kept on the table during the meal. He’s doing so great now, we’re so proud. Unfortunately he won’t do the same for his mother at her house and all of us together in one house greatly upsets him. So, we’re all still working on that. Go team!

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Gabby Forster My son is 11 and is in the 1/10th percentile for his height/ weight ratio. His diet is appauling!! He’s getting more fussy as he gets older, not better. It really concerns me. He is extremely intelligent, hates sport and never gets sick. He eats NO fruit or veges. The only meat he eats is bbq’d chicken. His diet consists of noodles and nuggets. He hates sweet things, and only eats savoury snacks, like chips. I have had him to a paediatrician who has now put him a multi vitamin and an iron tablet, as well as a daily drink of sustagen. He refuses any new food, and gags on anything that has texture. He also claims he can smell ants.

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CorineSterling
corinegrimes88@gmail.com
174.64.123.242		 millndollrbaby  My son is the same way and he is 6 now. He won’t eat fruits or veggies either and he loves cheese! He as well only eats Pizza, chicken nuggets, cheesburgers, corn dogs, hot dogs, mac n cheese and really nothing else. Also, no pepper or anything green.

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CorineSterling
corinegrimes88@gmail.com
174.64.123.242		 My son has a very limited diet. He won’t eat any vegetables, and only a banana for fruit. He doesn’t like rice, grits, beans or nuts. I have no idea why he won’t even try these foods, once their in his mouth he acts like he is going to throw up and refuses to eat them. Also change is a BIG problem for my son he hates change in anything.

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momx32b1g
becky.huss85@gmail.com
70.198.2.17		 We introduce one new food a week if his choice.. we haven’t widened it to where I’d like BUT we have discovered a love for CRAFT Mac n cheese no shells or we have melt downs but it’s a start we have discovered a sever gagging over noodles with sauce..but noodles with a little butter and only thin spaghetti… and to think he only suffers sever adhd/borderline ASD I learned if I force it he will automatically hate it, as well as pizza with no topping and only thin crust, he won’t hardly easy at school we get the menu and circle ask the days we need to pack lunches:( but he will occasionally try new foods at school but not often, he loves to cook but won’t eat any of it… I even tried switching his choice brand of corn dogs while he was at school..one bite he gagged.. I ended up telling him bc it almost eliminated his love for corn dogs in the spot.. we still 2 years in try a new food a week even if he tried it mo ago… sometimes it changes depending on his mood as Well

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amybomb
amybomb130@gmail.com
101.170.213.82		 Ok…..my son wont eat anything wet, flat, square or sticky….I havent still after 8 years quite mastered what is wet…..apparently all fruit and veg is wet, meat fish and chicken is wet unless coated in panko crumb, and deep fried. No foods may be mixed together or joined, except recently with hotdogs…..which he refused to call hotdogs…..they are red sauages in soft rolls(with wet bbq sauce, which I would think is wet but isnt to him). Regular bread is out as ots flat and square but if its cut in a shape and toasted its ok. Soup, pasta, any one pot meal really is out as the foods are mixed. I have tried to use mashed veg as the glue to stick the bread crumbs on chicken and meat and was just given a sigh…..and a look like “really mum? You thought you could get that by me?” ……no mince as its wet, even when in meatball form….but he will eat a meat pie too….which I have also tried to add pureed veg to, much to his chagrin. I give up….! He just takes a multivitamin in his hot cocoa now…..im tired and life is too short to argue over food. 🙂 good luck.

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FrancesSarver
franslittleangels@yahoo.com
50.140.210.172		 It’s really good that she doesn’t eat the ranch dressing, it’s processed, so lots of chemicals and preservatives in it. Whole foods are best, if she will eat them. 🙂

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CherylMahoney
pumksagi@aol.com
66.87.91.46		 Your son eats more types of food than mine on a good day. Phil doesn’t care for the texture of meat so we bribe him a lot to get him to eat a small amount. He loves cheese though so we keep several types of it in the house. He loves a wide variety of fruit and veggies. New foods are a challenge, he usually refuses to try them. Up till last year table manners where really bad but at least now he eats with silver wear not his fingers. Although, finger foods are his favorite things to eat still. School food is hit and miss most of it stays on his tray, but a relative of ours works at school and she has been working with him to get him to eat. Restaurant eating can be very interesting it matters who is eating with us on if he behaves. IPad or my droid phone helps when he done eating but I’m not. I do have a rule that I make him follow with food he has to try a bite if it’s a new food or something he hasn’t eaten in awhile, you never know you might like it.

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Sue1968
suvid3@hotmail.com
180.181.122.196		 Hi JeffreyMensch, we eat at the dinner table as a family. Perhaps you could just let everyone know what your wishes are. Tell them that you’d like to have everyone eat at the table. If they complain about not being able to eat at the computers, tell them they can go on them after tea if they come to the table to eat. I’d also try to get them to go with no computers after tea eventually. Let them on the computers til tea time, but not after tea…this is what we do. Good luck and thanks
Sue

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JeffreyMensch
menschkins@outlook.com
50.15.187.63		 4Cards  The Ipad is a great tool…just costly…but i have had great success with the leapster and hope to be introducing the pads in the near future…they really do help control behavior…

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JeffreyMensch
menschkins@outlook.com
50.15.187.63		 CindyWismer  I think this one is key…they really can move under their own power…

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JeffreyMensch
menschkins@outlook.com
50.15.187.63		 Sue1968  This has been one our primary fights here at our house….how do I get the whole family around the table for dinner?…Mother and I seperate ourselves as much as possible but we simply cannot be everywhere at once…when its just the two of us and the kids we tend to eat at our own “stations”…each person in this house has their own computer…their own spot…It hurts me though that it has come to that…My kids do adapt fast though…we recently started to re-introduce the family table into the family equation…somewhere along the line we lost that…I would like to cook more as i do have ideas…I just keep trying to roll with it all myself…I hope we both find success in the future…:-)

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Sue1968
suvid3@hotmail.com
180.181.123.203		 I wish my child wound eat the variety of foods you mention. Her diet consists of sausage and a tiny amount of potato and she still doesn’t eat it all, that’s her dinner. She has a sandwich and choc chip cookies for lunch at school. Fruit is an apple. The only fruit she’ll eat. Breakfast is Nutella on toast or bread, if we have none of that, she’ll eat Vegemite. She drinks nesquik or water. I hope I haven’t offended you. My daughters palette is very limited and I’d like to know how to expand it too
Sue

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SaraCaldwell
documentarchive78@gmail.com
138.87.187.218		 The
school thing is interesting, your comment about environment. What dish
soap are you using, how well do you rinse? What does the school use? I
can’t easily eat at certain restaurants because I can taste the
cleaning chemicals in the food very intensely
(I’ve had other people try the exact same foods, and they can’t taste
it, whereas I feel like there should be bubbles coming from my mouth,
the bleach taste/smell is so strong). People’s homes, not so bad,
however the soapy taste is more noticeable when they use a dishwasher
rather than hand wash their dishes.
Also,
certain foods just flat out make me feel full after a few bites. This
is particularly true of refried beans dishes and in fact most Mexican
carb and protein dishes. The rice is almost as filling as the beans.
It tastes wonderful at first, and then the switch is flipped and I feel
nauseatingly full. Makes me wonder if that’s where the pizza response
is coming from. I love the taste and first few bites of most Mexican
food, but the more traditional (well, Americanized restaurant
“traditional”) it is, the worse the “filling” effect is, and the sooner I
get nauseous. Note that rice cooked for East Asian recipes doesn’t have
this effect at all, and it usually doesn’t for Italian recipes.

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SaraCaldwell
documentarchive78@gmail.com
138.87.187.218		 John
actually appears to like the same number of foods as most kids. Just
not the usual, or most convenient ones. Age isn’t given here, or I
missed it, but if he’s young, yeah, most young kids separate their food
out, too.
Is his preference for raw or cooked? Texture issues?
For
me, if I ate a food one time, and then tried it at a later time and it
tasted different, I couldn’t stand it. At times, I took for granted
that a different taste for the same food meant that it had gone bad, and
I would occasionally cry and panic, assuming that everyone was
poisoning themselves (sidenote, as an adult, since they moved away from
transfats and started cooking potato chips in sunflower oil, I cannot
eat them anymore in any quantity, it smells like they’ve gone bad and
tastes worse. Those still fixed in peanut oil are fine, sensory if not
healthwise).
As
an adult, I can taste the difference between different types of apples,
different types of oranges, and different batches of the same variety.
I hate wax on apples–the eating isn’t an issue, but no amount of soap
gets the residue off my fingers.
Large
bites were overwhelming. Small, tolerable (I still can’t eat whole
Brussels sprouts without triggering my gag reflex no matter how they’re
prepared. But diced finely and lightly fried in butter, they’re a
favorite food).
Smell.
Don’t get me started on onions that are slightly too old, or grease
that’s the tiniest bit off. They don’t burn, they feel like someone
punched the inside of my nose, and the physical sensation is what leads
to a gag reflex. Fresh onions are fine.
As
for issues with wheat or dairy….I’d actually get that checked out by a
doctor…it could well be good instinct on the part of your son. I’m
not on the bandwagon that says that gluten or dairy are THE cause of
autism, there is no ONE magic bullet cause, but I do think that they can
negatively affect some kids. As someone with a gluten and dairy
intolerance, whose behavior is affected, and who suffers physical side
effects, I think it’s always a worthwhile point of inquiry.
Sidenote:
If he gets chronic ear infections, definitely check the dairy. I did
as a kid, but they went away when we figured out the dairy issue. That
was process of elimination, it was sensitivity rather than allergy, but
made a huge difference. Chronic bronchitis every winter, and half the
time during the summer, ear infections, ruptured eardrum at one
point….then cut out the milk, it all went away. I don’t avoid milk
and dairy altogether, but if I have too much, I can tell, the inside of
my ears (as in, inner ear, inside the ear canal itself, close to the
throat) start itching and burning, and triggering my gag reflex a
little.

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LorreaDuffin
sxyscents@aol.com
173.66.8.180		 My son has ASD.  After him having so many sleeping problems every night, we switched his milk to lactose free and he slept a lot better and no more waking up.  He loves chicken and pizza and really any meat!!  Veggies are difficult to get him to eat except for broccoli and corn.  He doesn’t like side dishes(potatoes, stuffing, mac & Cheese)

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EmilieBrosseau
wiselittlemonkeys@hotmail.com
24.225.239.10		 Hi,
My three older sons (ages 6-4-2) have ASD
1. Really tuff to introduce new food. We didn’t succeed yet, but I’m starting to think about recipes for hidding good food. If it passes the test on my three little lab rats, I share my findings with you 🙂
2. Using ustensils is the only good manner we insist on and even if we try to make them use them, eventually, they took them when they were ready.
3. if you are concerned, you can always complement him diet with Pediacare beverage. Insure peace of mind for us parents and it’s easy to make them take it ’cause it taste like cake 🙂
4.No, we don’t, but we do a lot of take out.
But the Ipad is awfully useful for visits to the doctors office.
5.for what they refuse to eat at lunchtime, they make out at snacktime.
ps: Antoine loves mc donald’s but only eats fries.
pps: I suggest you let your oranges on your kitchen counter for a while…. you never know, maybe it will encourage him to eat some more!
ppps: maybe he does love pizza. but if he have a hard time with food touching on his plate, imagine stacked food!…if you give him a plate with cheese, sauce and cooked dough, all apart, maybe he would eat pizza that way.

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CindyWismer
desertok@aol.com
96.251.186.174		 It sounds like he is doing OK with his limited diet.  Maybe you could get him to chew a gummy vitamin.  It will have to be his decision, but he will try more foods as he gets older.  My nephew went to camp and was so hungry he finally decided to taste something else- his decision.  Good luck

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CindyWismer
desertok@aol.com
96.251.186.174		 It sounds like he is doing OK with his limited diet.  Maybe he could chew a gummy vitamin.  Maybe a bribe like $1 a bite (or teeny tiny taste) will work. He will try new things as he gets older.  My nephew was very picky, as I was, until he went to camp and was so hungry he finally tasted other foods.  It was his choice, and he discovered it wasn’t so bad.

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millndollrbaby
millndollrbaby@gmail.com
98.166.65.47		 My son has never eaten a fruit or vegetable. He loves dairy of all kinds.Specially cheese, He could eat a whole block if your not watching him. I am so sick of eating pizza, tacos, chicken nuggetts and cheeseburgers. That is it. God forbid if there is a spice like a speck of pepper..Or worse a grill mark on it.. He is 14 now. I do hope  his tastes will expand… But he is healthy and almost 5’10”. That is one big block of cheese!

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JaneNicholas
jez1965@live.com.au
49.197.31.218		 Oh we love restaurants. The power of being in charge!!!!! But we need steak, spag bol or chicken/ rice his way or FORGET IT!!!!

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JaneNicholas
jez1965@live.com.au
49.197.31.218		 Are you spying into my home lol. This is my house to a T!! I am convincing myself the modelling of good food habits will end up having an impact. In the meantime the same foods get a regular roll out.

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brendaenglish51
brendaenglish51@gmail.com
176.26.12.219		 We call EVERYTHING new Dinosaur ———! As in Oh Hannah would you like Dinosaur Nuggets or Dinosaur Fingers? (Chicken Nuggets or Fish Fingers) Works best if you do a dinosaur roar after the quesstion LOL!

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PradaSofia
sofia.prada@gmail.com
65.94.239.113		 My son is 2 y old and he likes soup, so I blend meat, vegetables and cereals together and freeze a bowl of soup for each day of the week. I send it to the daycare so he can have a happy lunch. That way I make sure he eats healthy at least one time a day. He likes grapes, bananas, bread and water. These are his choices for breakfast, snacks and dinner. Usually we don’t go to restaurants, he is not happy with closed spaces.

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CindyWismer
desertok@aol.com
96.251.186.174		 I am a retired special educator.  I have written two books about my experiences.  One is a short story- a fun read about a special ed class and the other a Guide for parents.

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CindyWismer
desertok@aol.com
96.251.186.174		 Great progress!  This shows that your daughter is interacting and trying to please others as well as having fun. If she is picky about veggies, you might try “hiding” them in other foods.  I used to put green beans in my son’s tuna sandwich.
Technology is such a good tool for children with ASD.

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sneedley13
sneedley13@gmail.com
86.143.74.117		 My son is 7 now, and has only recently been diagnosed ASD… to answer the questions:

1. The Boy has never been a fan of anything with a strong flavour or smell. I will ask him to try something, and if he says no, I leave it and try again another time. If he says ok (usually reluctantly) I will give him just enough to be able to taste it and feel the texture in his mouth, then its up to him. If he like it and wants more, I’ll give him more. If he doesn’t want more, I don’t push it. Also, if he ever asks about anything on mine or Dad’s plate, we always let him try it.

2. The Boy has table manners when he focuses on what he is doing, but he struggles with his co-ordination, so finds it hard to use the knife and fork together to cut, or push things onto he fork. If he’s sat at the table on his own, he will often use his fingers to push thing on the plate onto his fork, or into his mouth. He also often puts too much food in his mouth at once, and usually ends up with some food/sauce/gravy on his face.

3. I don’t have too many concerns about his diet, he knows when he has eaten enough and will turn down treats of he’s not hungry. He won’t drink fizzy drinks because he doesn’t like the feeling in his mouth, so really only drinks water or juice (doesn’t like squash too much as its too sweet)

4. We can take The Boy to a restaurant, although he struggles to understand why the food doesn’t come as soon as you order it, and I am always concious of people watching his table manners.

5. School (as you appeared to imply) is a different matter. When he was at nursery as a 2/3 yr old, he would eat anything he was given (including things that he ‘didnt like’ at home) and on the occasions that he does have school dinners, he will eat whatever is on the menu. He does prefer to take packed lunches though, because he eats cooked meals quite slowly, and says that he has more time to play when he eats his packed lunch – he always eats everything though!

As an aside, he will only eat McDonalds, and will only have a cheese burger happy meal (without the gherkin, they are ‘dirty’)

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4Cards
tmdtkd@gmail.com
24.117.116.254		 I started sensory therapy with my daughter and they said to have play time with food not during a meal time more as an activity and try and find foods they would not normally eat and play and see if they will try it. 1st we did celery and ranch, she tried the celery but not the ranch, second carrots with ranch again tried the carrots but not the ranch. The therapist showed her how the food crunched and she mimicked her both times. And last week we did chips with guacamole I knew shed eat the chips but she even tried the guacamole. So it had been a huge success for us:) I think it also helps it is someone other than me or my husband doing it and it is not at home!

We use a Ipad or Iphone at eat out meals for both our young kids its so hard for them to sit still for so long without some help:)

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CoriSutphin
dangit.007@gmail.com
166.216.165.18		 My son literally only eats two foods that are cooked and that’s grilled cheese and honey butter rolls. He doesn’t eat any fruits, vegetables or meats! NONE!
His pediatrician had to fill out a special dietary form for school where they make him a grilled cheese daily, however, he doesn’t like the texture of wheat bread so he picks the cheese off of it and eats it that way. Yes, he’s even picky about the type of bread.
His sensory issues cause him to vomit if he can’t stand the smell or texture so i would be thrilled beyond belief if his diet was as large as your sons! I definitely understand your concern and plan on checking back to see if anyone has ideas!

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PeteKijek
asgard_studio@yahoo.co.uk
81.100.240.167		 Hi there!!
Thought I’d throw my tuppence in, from my experiences of what my son eats when he’s with me, and what I hear from his mother.1)    How did you get your child to eat different foodstuff?  What techniques did you use?  What worked and what didn’t?
With Dylan, it’s a very slow process. There was a time when he wouldn’t eat anything but Marks and Spencer ready meals. Not exactly bad for him, but his mother and I used to long for the day he would sit and eat the same as us.
He’s a lot better now, eating a wider variety of foods. We found it was textures that would dictate whether he ate them or not. He enjoys my sausage and mash, and even eats a few peas now. He’s also a massive fan of chicken nuggets and chips, and pizza (depending on which brand it is! ) I can sometimes get him to eat my bolognese bake, but he prefers his mother’s as she puts a hint of mild chilli powder in it to give it some pep.
He loves cheese, crisps (ready salted only) and I was told over christmas he enjoyed hog roast and venison- when I was still with his mother we could never have hoped he would eat a roast dinner!

2)   How did you teach your child table manners?
He sort of picked this up by himself. He does still enjoy finger food more – it’s textures yet again- but ever since we got him on the ready meals, we have always encouraged the knife and fork.

3)   Are you concerned about the nutrient value or your child’s diet?  Have you been to a dietician?
Provided he’s not eating junk, and has a good healthy mix, neither of us really mind him eating repetitively, if you know what I mean. By the sound of it, your son has a good mix of the basic food groups, so is doing ok.

4)   Can you go you restaurants with your child?  Do you need an iPad?  We do.
One year on holiday at Trecco Bay in Porthcawl ( a great holiday/caravan park if you have autistic kids) we ate in the restaurant several nights in a row, and we were worried he wouldn’t sit still and would keep getting up and wandering around the restaurant. He did us very proud, eating most of what we got for him (sticking to what we knew he ate in ready meal form).

5)   What about food at school?
I get fairly regular reports from his mother about his eating habits at school, and there are actually things he will eat at school that he doesn’t touch at home! I think you’re possibly right about it being a case of a different setting. What he eats at home he may well not eat at school, and vice versa- so be patient with him, know he’s eating something, and make sure he eats balanced at home, and you can’t go wrong 😉

PS  John does go to fast food joints but won’t eat the burgers.  And he hates ketchup.
Dylan’s the same. I occasionally take him to McDonalds, and he’ll only ever eat the McNuggets. I’d dearly love for him to have a burger- and he did have half of one at his uncle’s 21st birthday BBQ last year at my mother’s house- his mother tells me he is starting to have burgers at home, which is a good sign!
Be prepared, though, for your son to eat certain things in one place, and not in the other. Last year (2012) for my birthday, I took Dylan to a gastro pub restaurant- I thought it would make a posh change to McDonalds- and he ordered the nuggets and chips- neither of which are like McDonalds ones. Now, he ate the chips no trouble, but tried one nugget (which was really more of a piece of diced chicken breast than the manufactured nuggets you usually get, and he wouldn’t eat any more- all because they weren’t McDonalds’ or Iceland’s ones.
The biggest piece of advice I can offer is to have patience. Dylan’s 8 now (will be 9 this summer) and he’s only just now starting to come around to different tastes. It helps that both his elder twin brothers are in college training to be chefs, and regularly bring home what they’ve cooked that day.
It might seem your son isn’t getting a balanced diet, but by the sound of it he’s doing fine, and with gentle, patient encouragement, he’ll slowly start accepting other foods and tastes/textures.
I hope that helps?
Pete in Cardiff (and Dylan in Shrewsbury)

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karlcotanna
victoria70@live.com.au
101.161.60.154		 Vicoria.

when younger my boy had lots of trouble with food, manners and eating in general. Textures were/are the biggest!!  Made mash potatoes a little more creamy(extra milk or eggs), also would and pumpkin and spinach. over time just kept adding more vegie varieties. his table habits were bad and he would scoff his food and overload his mouth, not sure how he never choked!! he had to be told b4 every bite “just a little, chew, chew, chew” and while doing that place his hands flat on table till he had swallowed. still only likes cheese, yoghurt, bananas, pineapple and hot dogs and hot chips!!  has learnt to eat his mash vegies and fish chicken and red meat. all minimal. but loves sausages, meatballs and rissoles.(not terribly healthy), oh and chicken nuggets! has improved  over the years and have always put out utensils for eating, which he now uses, mostly! still needs to b reminded of small amounts in mouth. he gets to have input for lunch which is generally the same every day. cheese sandwhich, yoghurt museli bar(this is fairly new) or fruit stick, and a banana. As always persistence and patience. hopefully improves over time. And we didn’t go out for tea ever. we have kind of tried but its hard to find things he likes on the menu, lol!  good luck with it all.

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JillianMatthews
jillian.brown.matthews@outlook.com
68.203.9.111		 Omg I wish my asd son would eat like that he barely eats anything he eats fruits and yogurt cereal bars a few snacks like fruit snacks crackers and pringles so I buy the real fruit ones and whole grain or multigrain everything else his doctor says its normal his palette will grow with time and has me giving him pediasure shakes, vitamins, water, milk. I put out ice trays with different fruits vegetables grains a lot of different things all day long I use ice trays bcuz different foods can’t touch and different colors can’t touch. He won’t touch anything with a strong smell or anything wet like noodles or pasta I’m losing my mind. He still gains weight and is growing in fact he’s above average for his height and median in age for weight. It’s frustrating I just want him to eat healthy so I keep trying hoping he’ll try. One trick i learned with him is to take him shopping with me and let him pick his foods out when done that way if he chose it he’ll at least attempt to try unless the smell is too strong for him.

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JanaHebertTaffLackey
lackeyjanak@yahoo.com
74.84.23.91		 wow,,what i would give for my 16 year old asd child to eat that well, Heath, only eats chicken, hamburger meat, carrots and that is all….. he wont eat cheese because someone along time ago told him only rats eat cheese. so now he wont eat it…
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Suzie Goes to a Funeral – a new book for autistic children to help with attending a funeral.


Suzie goes to a funeral

Suzie goes to a funeral

How do you explain a funeral to an autistic child?

So far John, with ASD, has been to two funerals.  Both interestingly in foreign countries.  One was prior to his diagnosis and our issues were more to do with jet lag than autism.  The second was more problematic but happily the day went well.  The day after on the other hand……………

In today’s blog Charlotte Olson introduces us to another in her series of books which aim to help parents of children on the autistic spectrum deal with specific events.  In this case it is Suzie’s grandmothers funeral.

Olson writes “Join Suzie as she goes to Grandma’s funeral and says goodbye.

A simple story that can help a child who may be feeling anxious about going to a funeral.

A story that can help by explaining to a child what they might experience on this sad day.”

You can find out more about the book her http://www.suziebooks.co.uk/funeral.htm.

If you have any tips for taking autistic children to a funeral or can mention any possible pitfalls please use the comments box below to share your story!

Many thanks in advance!


12 Comments Posted on Autism, Patient Talk

Autism and Challenging Behaviour Part 3– Biting and Scratching at School – With updated comments

ResourceBase for Autistic Children

ResourceBase for Autistic Children

As regular readers will know our son, who has classic autism, attends a ResourseBase for autistic children based in a mainstream school.  You can read more about the concept and how it works here https://patienttalk.org/?p=1614.  (As I mentioned I’m really impressed with the quality of support he gets from the school.  Indeed he has just returned and is literally asleep from all the stuff he does during the week.  With a ResourceBase it seems not a moment is wasted).

In fact the ResourceBase played a major role in helping to solve at bit of a challenge which came our way a few weeks ago. I became aware of the problem when   I received a call from Tracey, the teacher in charge of the unit.  Tracey explained to me that there had been a problem at the lunchtime play break and our son, John,  had both bitten and scratched another student..  He had been surrounded by a group of children and rather than joining in with their play, as they wanted, he had become overwhelmed by the experience which made him angry. So he lost his temper and attacked another pupil.

Obviously the other student was very upset and, of course, did not appreciate why John had reacted like this when they only wanted to be friendly.

Tracey spoke with John, privately, afterwards to find out the cause and see how she could help. While they decided not to punish him they did decide that he should not attend his mainstream class that afternoon.

Unfortunately there was a similar but milder incident the next day.  So a tactic to prevent this occurring again had to be found.

Tracey asked me to drop into school one afternoon a couple of days later to discuss how we all should deal with the situation.

The solution she had hit upon, I have to say, was a bit of inspired genius.

After each morning and afternoon session John would go to her room.   If he had not bitten, scratched or fought with another child then he would be able to put another bit on Tom.

So who’s Tom?

Tom is a glove puppet (in this case a monster).  Different parts of his body can be added one by one to create a complete puppet by the end of each week.

If all has gone well John will be able to play with Tom at the very end of his school week as a reward for his good behaviour.

Does this kind of reward work?  Well in John’s case it seems to.  In the first week another child bit him.  Instead of lashing out he curled up into a ball and refused to do anything as he did not wish to lose his time with Tom even if he was angry,

Obviously we are still in very early days but, for us, this seems to be a strategy that works.

So what about you?  How have you dealt with biting and scratching by an autistic child?  It would be great if you could share your story in the comments box below.  You might like to consider some of the following questions when putting together your answers:-

1)      How often does your child bite or scratch in school?  Are they violent in other ways?

2)      What triggers these kinds of behaviours?

3)      What techniques have you used to discourage them from violence in school?  How effective were they?

4)      What do you think about using a reward system like Tom the monster puppet?

I really look forward to reading your responses

 

Thanks very much in advance.

 

SamanthaMedrano My sons 3 and he only bites me his mother or family or himself. He gets too overwhelmed while in public he also has sensory issues. We have a chew tube with him at all times it can also go arround his neck. But no issues in school yet.
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ThomasRaphaelHyle I’m going to guess 8 years old
ThomasRaphaelHyle I have only ever been violent when provoked. I am always highly suspicious of stories about other autistics being violent. But this story particularly smells; “playing” is often what bullies try to claim, and I remember as a young child being surrounded (repeatedly) by other children in school and they were not playing “with” me, but “at” me, if you will. I was not a playmate; I was the object of play. The teacher told me nothing was wrong and to go back to playing with the other children. Eventually I did snatch one of them from the mocking, dancing, throwing, hitting ring, and beat his head off the floor repeatedly.
ThomasRaphaelHyle being surrounded does not sound friendly to me. That story has a smell about it.
smckee0707 My daughter is 8 she is autisic as well she is known to pinch hit throw chairs whatever she can when she is upset bc like other kids with autism explaining whats upsetting her isnt gonna happen she is in special ed all day besides for like P.E. ex and 20 mins a day in regular class which seems to be a little to much stimulating for her bc thats when she gets upset the reason i posted on this is bc right b4 her 8th birthday is when she was diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder/autism and the school has done nothing i took up her diagnosis from the doctor to the school when she was enrolled i made sure i put all that information on her paperwork and at school she was put in detention for pinching a kid who she asked 3 times to move the little girl was leaning over her desk while she was trying to work my daughter couldn’t concentrate at all and she got upset. ..now i am a believer she needs to be talked to about her actions bc violence is never the answer but after speaking with the special ed department the lady told me my daughter did NOT HAVE AUTISM so i politely said are u aware u are speaking with her mother bc she does have autism i do have papers from her doctor and from the social security office saying she is disabled she said oh ok well bring in her papers to me tomorrow and we will work on this so.!!! Question am i wrong for being upset ive done everything by making the school aware of her autism but bc she doesnt LOOK like she has autism its been over looked so i am so upset and a littler nervous to have the meeting with the school tomorrow bc its a very big deal.my child has had such a hard time learning she is suppose to be in 3 rd grade and is only doing low kindergarten average work and it breaks my heart bc i did all the early intervention started at 2 and was told from 2 until almost 8 idk whats wrong with your kid and things like this are still being ignored so my plan i think is to get a good nights rest and go in there as positive as possible but this so un called for and i hate this keeps happening to my daughter she has such good potential. .
homeschoolmommy We had problems with our daughter getting over stimulated at school.  She didn’t get aggressive but would start crying and withdraw.  They disciplined her by making her sit out at recess and lunch, as many as 3 times a day for “pouting and being uncooperative”.  After addressing this issue with them and being told they could not have special rules for any student, I pulled our daughter out and home schooled her.  It is working out beautifully.  I am able to control her environment better and help guide her through difficult circumstances.
go botherdaddy PaulineEstherHunt  PLeas do not take offense.  I am a 34 yr old woman, with a 34 yr old husband who has aspergers and an 8 yr old son with autism.  The problem is the rules and regulation of mainstream schooling.  Alot of parents believe it will benefit children.  My husband was in mainstream school because his family denied and his his condition.  I have a friend who’s son is the around the same age as yours which she is going to start home schooling.  My friend’s son has just started middle school.  The assistance for special needs is limited. In a school built around autism the accommodations are endless.  As you described, your son liking to work on his own….the overwhelming stimulation is probably what is getting him going.  Your son has even admitted he functions better with the tasks at hand and behavior without it.  A special school would allow him to be involved in class but remove him for personal time during his studies if need be.  There are classes that only consist of 6 students per grade.  If he needs a “time out” from the stress (which my husband still needs after all these years.  he sits in bathroom and rocks while he cries) they will give it to him as need be.  Everything is arranged more personally to fit your son than main stream schools such as courses, time invested in them extra help etc.  Alot of people dont like the stereo of an “autistic” school.  I didnt either.  I believed it would have made my son “worse”.  I was never more wrong.  He’s happy and thriving.  I said to myself, “He’s happy and it works for him…”  One big problem my friend is having here (Upstate NY) is that because she said her son didnt need the extra help his whole life, not that everything has caught up with him and he’s struggling, the school board is denying her the help she needs because she has had him go this long without it.  It costs the school board 4x as much to supply the full assistance for special needs, and by putting him mainstream for so long it give the board the right to save their money for someone else by arguing and defending that the 8 years he coasted without proves he can get by.  Best of luck.  And Hope and wish nothing but the best for you and your son.
go botherdaddy FInd the underlining message.  What causes the repeat offense.  The action of biting etc is to get a quick and clear message instantly across to someone.  For example.  Like clockwork, my husband will try to lay with our 8 yr old autistic son on the couch.  My husband will put Isaiah (our son) on the inside of the couch and after a moment Isaiah will bite him in the shoulder.  Its Isaiah’s reminder to my husband “Dont confine me!”  Now, knowing this to decrease the negative behavior, everything thing we do, we ask ourselves , “Will this confine and upset ISaiah?”  If the answer is yes, we find a way around it.  My son pinched, dug, bit, kicked since he was 2 yrs old chronically.  Breaking it down, using this approach, on average twice a month.
PaulineEstherHunt Hi I have a 12 year old boy with asd who is currently in mainstream school has just been given his fourth internal exsclusion for violent behaviour towards another pupil. School policy is to exclude however for my son he likes to be on his own and to be in a room all day on his own with the set work is heaven. He has openly told me he likes it as there is no noise or rushing around and noone bothering him.
The school do not except my query as to an alternative punishment for this reason and simply continue to say he will be punished as per the policy set.
In the long run this is not helping he is lashing out more and more and he knows with very little effort he can get one or two days on his own.
We are still searching for support and advice to help and or ease the situation!
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LisaGillen I love this idea, and i am going to try it!  However I foresee my 3 year old student as having fits every time he is allowed to put another bit on, and still not play with it until the end of the week.  My student loves to play with those bead toys that you can move along skinny metal tubes.  I thought maybe I could allow him to move some, and let him know if he doesnt hit all week we can get it down (or some other distraction toy) on Friday and he will get to play with it