Advice for autism parents
During and after his diagnosis my wife and I found it very hard. One reason, perhaps, is that we had little contact with people who had been raising children on the spectrum. Sure we knew people like us whose kids had just been diagnosed but were not in touch with people who while still on the autism journey were a long way down the round.
So I thought it would be useful to start a conversation on our Facebook page AutismTalk asking one very simple question – “What advice would you give to somebody who child has just been diagnosed with autism?”.
Firstly the results were amazing so we have decided to run a blog post sharing some of the responses with our readers. But it would be great if you could share any advice you might have in the comments section below.
One reader shared “Never give up. Everything takes time, and in the end every moment is worth it! I was told my son wouldn’t do this, or wouldn’t do that, and he has overcome every obstacle they said he wouldn’t, and every day he does something I was told he’d never do. Like talk. 5 years of therapy, in and out of school, and he speaks!”
Another said ” One day at a time and take thw good with the bad. My son has jus had a massive meltdown bt ten minutes later impressed me soo much because he randomly brought his juice PEC to me because he wantsd a drink… first to he ever communicated off his own back. Its an emotional roller coaster. I was crying half hour ago now were very happy proud and giving my son lots of love and praise!”
” A label is just that… It doesn’t change who your child it, it just gives you a direction on what you can do to help make their days/life easier”
“That people without an autistic child will most probably be ignorant to what autism means.. Don’t worry about there opinion on your child.. They will never understand. ”
“From a dads perspective stay positive and acceptance of the condition. Then move on and fight for everything”
“Remember to put yourself in your child’s shoes and always be patient. I always think to myself, if I’m anxious, how must he be feeling x”
“Don’t believe everything they tell you each child is different and they are capable of learning.. It’s called repetition. If you give them a break because they are autistic they are going to catch on. But also be patient as certain things can set them off. Just don’t do things you know is sure to upset them.. But discipline is a must they are capable of understanding. Just takes more time and patience”
“EARLY INTERVENTION + Learn to be “at peace” with and “accepting of” your child just the way they are.”
“autism is a special gift their no different than anybody esle just special in their on ways .. Take one day at a time.. There will be good days and bad but you just got to stay strong . They will bring so much joy to your life promise..”
“Take the time to really, really observe your child, see where he struggles and think what you can do to help. This sounds so very simple and so very obvious but when you’re stressed, sleep deprived and struggling to communicate it’s harder than you think. Seven months after official diagnosis I’ve finally concocted some charts and aids that help my son understand the passage of time. Nothing else I saw quite fitted the bill – every child is different so try not to compare. Just work on building that bond and helping your child prepare for and cope with his world. xxx”
“It changes everything yet changes nothing at all. They are still your child and it’s just allowing you to change your parenting style to adapt to their needs to help them (and you) achieve theirs and your potentials! Stay calm and read as much about it as you can. Knowledge is power.”
“Don’t try and fix the child, fix the world they live in……it will all be ok, just dish out the love and it will all work out.”
“Don’t see the diagnosis as a punishment as I did at first See it as strength training for your character. You will discover that you can do and endure amazing things for the sake of your equally amazing child”
and finally even though there were many more “Don’t forget to laugh. Things will get tough and you’ll want to scream, shout and cry. But if you can stop smile and laugh about the little things it’ll help give you a different mindset to tackle it. Celebrate the achievements and be realistic about the weaknesses. Give yourself time to grieve and understand.”
As I said please feel free to add your own advice below.
Thanks in advance!