Autism and Challenging Behaviour

16 Comments Posted on Autism, Patient Talk

Autism and Challenging Behaviour Part Eight. Getting dressed in the morning.

Autism and learning to get dressed

Autism and learning to get dressed

This is one of those areas which my wife and I still have big issue with  regards  to our seven year old autistic son named John. So far we have drawn a bit of a blank in teaching him how to get dressed in the morning, or at any time, so I thought I would throw myself on the mercy of our readers and ask them how it’s done.

I should explain that John has a neurotypical sister, Anne, who was a dressing up fanatic so picked up the relevant skill almost as soon as she could walk.  At the age of 11 this has now moved on to what she describes as fashion.

Each morning I have to sometimes cajole, sometimes humour John into getting dressed.  This is a time-consuming and rather boring task which I would prefer for him to complete on his own.

So how do I do it?  Social story?  Dress him back to front?

Over to you.  How did you or your children with autism learn to get dressed?  It is a bit of an important life skill when you think about it.

Please use the comments section below to tell your story.  I know that there are plenty of other parents who would love your advice.

Thanks in advance.

PS In full disclosure I should say that I did mention it at his school recently.  He goes swimming on a weekly basis with his other ASD classmates.  They said that he could get dressed by himself after swimming.  But this was mainly because he was cold after getting out of the water.  This has never happened at home but it could be another of those cases of a particular situation.  Thoughts?

 

LorraineJames I have a visual sheet that I’ve made up and laminated on the wall with the morning, afternoon & evening routines. I find this assists my 6yo son to manage.  Having said that, dressing is always a challenge with clothes getting thrown all over the place, or being put on back to front/inside out. With time restrictions for school, I find that putting a time on everything helps.  We actually found that getting undressed at the end of the night was more of a challenge.  Our psychologist helped with that one.  We simply tell him now that he has 5 minutes to get dressed for bed, if he is not ready then he goes to bed exactly as he is when the time is up. Works a treat as he likes things to be done properly and hates the idea of going to bed half dressed (without his pyjamas on)
katindal Hi…I have a son who is 23 and has autism…..and i don’t think there is a cure…..I do know …however…my son has come a very long way…..and if there are any parents of older children…I would love for our kids to get to know each other…… we live in Conway,s.c. i would like to address the dress of a morning….I dressed my son every morning…I don’t remember when he finally got it…..I chose my battles……he did for a long time have to wear the same kind of jeans…always wanted a red shirt and kid tennis shoes……and if thing bothered him he would cry for hours…..sooooo I dressed him…..he had to be at school on time…he was in a regular class room……good luck…
SabrinaRaeBlessel Oh this has been an issue since day one of his first day of preschool. My son is now 8 yrs. old and we still have issue with morning routine but they are better than when we first started. What works for my family is routine, routine, routine! I have also found it easier for him to transition from one thing to the next with giving him notice in advance as to what he needs to do. Ex.( I will say while he is eating breakfast, as soon as your done eating it will be time to brush your teeth. I say that to him when I hand him his breakfast then I repeat it while he is eating and then when he is done eating.) I do this for every time it is time to move on to the next transition in the mornings. Also I have found another big distraction is the tv. Turning the tv off helps for us also.
Peggy Hood I can not stress it enough……..ROUTINE! That’s what has worked for us. My son is twelve and has a diagnosis of PDD-NOS. We have been in routine for a while now. He pulls his shoes off at the door, hangs his jacket up, dresses himself, ect. and I believe routine is the key for these autistic children. If we do something that isn’t in the normal routine he gets a little upset but not like before. Just saying what works for us!
slseiler1 ZimenaJane LauraBunderson  We all have different experiences and beliefs with autism. In my experience, my son’s symptoms were not just different, they were dangerous. Multiple interventions like Laura describes have helped my son significantly. He still has triggers, but he has learned to manage himself in most situations. I feel his autism has been healed to a large degree…and I am pleased to learn of another mom who fought not just the autism symptoms but the “advice” of medical “professionals” who insisted I should get out of denial, get used to the fact that he would never speak, never express love, never have a typical life…I didn’t accept it and I’m thankful. He’s 15 as well. In public school. Grades are decent. Socially shy, but not obvious. Great eye contact. Loving and kind. Wrestles and was undefeated last year. So…I gently disagree that “Autism is not a disease that you can “cure.” No one really knows what autism is.
ZimenaJane LauraBunderson  Autism is not a disease that you can ‘cure’ – the brain is wired differently to the way that other peoples’ brains are wired. Your son’s visible signs of autism may have diminished but he will have autism for his whole life. There is nothing wrong with it – it’s just a different way of being and people with autism need to be helped to learn how to cope with life in our society.
LauraBunderson I forgot about some of these issues I dealt with early on while I was curing my son of autism he also could barely dress himself.  Before some of his break-throughs I remember dressing him most of the time wondering if he would ever learn.  Even when he started shirts would often go on backwards as well as pants. Elastic wasted was a must. My best advice to you is  to do your research on a cure they are out there but it isn’t like taking medicine or something quick. It takes a total life change and it is hard but not as hard as the life you have ahead you or your child if you don’t do something about it now. I started when my son was 5 he is now 14 and has very little signs..this year he got his first A on an English test I was so proud. He had lots of struggles when he got well enough to put back into public schools. It is looking like next year he will no longer need an IEP at school. Don’t ever give up finding the CURE its out there but you won’t find it at your family MD for sure. God Bless you all its a tough road I know.
LauraPalazzoLuckey Hi John’s dad.  I’m a Special Education teacher and think that a Picture Board might be of help. It will serve as a reminder or task analysis, of the desired actions as well as a tangible barometer of success. The following should be set up in a grid.

Clothing                          Mon.       Tues.       Wed.        Thurs.            Fri.

Underwear

Socks

Pants

Shirt

Shoes

John can place a sticker for each piece of clothing that he puts on himself.  Make a big celebration each time.  At the end of each morning of successful independent dressing, John should get a reward. ( a few minutes of TV, computer, play time)  John and you will decide together how many stickers he should need to have gotten in order to earn a bigger reward.  ( Happy Meal, pick out Saturday night’s dinner, ect)  Eventually, you should wean John from daily rewards, but never from daily praise, with each successful independent dressing.  Every other day until a weekly reward remains as the only reinforcer.  I wish you well and congratulate you on being an obvious wonderful advocate for your son.  Laura Luckey
slseiler1 I put his clothes in the dryer. He loved the warmth. ..not too long or zippers (etc) get hot. I started w a warmed towel wrapped around him. I have also put him to sleep on clean school clothes.
TiffaneyStowe Hello everyone. I don’t have an autistic child(ren) but I am a Care Provider who works with a High Functioning Autistic 19 year old who also has Aspergers. I’ve had to help get her into a routine of getting dress and doing hygiene stuff and keeping her room clean. Of course routine, praises and rewards. Stickers can be a big deal even tho it may not seem like it.
To the parents of John, i think that if it is at all possible if maybe your son can take a shower in the morning then get dress. Since it seems he understands that he has to get dress after a shower. If that doesn’t work or can’t be done then maybe you could try something else. I’m not sure of everything that you’ve tried or how. So I don’t really want to say to much or say something you already or have done. Or offend you. But if you would like me to help further or rather help however I can. You can find me on Facebook.
Thank You for your time and the opportunity to try and help. A Loving and Caring Care Provider, Tiffaney Stowe.
kalamu We’ve only just begun to discover that our son probably has Aspergers/high functioning ASD. He is nearly 5. It is so difficult for him to focus on getting dressed in the morning as any other stimulation like talking o rtoys means he stops. If he accidently puts his socks on before his underpants he has to take them off again to put his pants on because ‘pants go first’. He sometimes has major freak outs with his buttons and I have to calm him down and talk him through it. Mornings are very time consuming and his 3 year old sister sees all of this and messes around for the attention too, she also knows how to push his buttons and set him off on a meltdown or a tangent which stops him getting dressed. Stressful is not even close! X
auzzymum You may find it helpful to have the clothes stacked and ready to put on in the order that the child needs to get dressed. Including shoes. This may be the order that the child chooses to get dressed in rather than the order you think is most appropriate and always leave the clothing in the same place every day ie the foot of the bed, beside the bed, somewhere that you can keep up even if you go on vacation or visiting sometime overnight. Consistency and order is the key. I also found this method helpful to control what my son wore because when he was left to his own devices, he choose clothing that was not always appropriate for the weather we were having. That is if he bothered to get dressed at all on his own accord. Now that he’s older (19) everyone in the neighborhood remembers him as “the kid who used to keep taking his clothes off” thankfully we lived in a small and very understanding town. Good luck.
sneedley13 I guess we tackled Connor’s issue without even realising we were doing it. He is also 7 and ASD, and gets lost in his own head quite a lot, so needs routine and bribery/reward to keep him focussed on the boring stuff. Like Sally40 ‘s son, Connor undresses and dresses in a certain order (known only to him as it changes from day to day) so when I get up in the morning, I lay out his school uniform ready to go – jumper on the bottom (as this has to be last!), underwear on the top. I always check to make sure nothing is inside out, and we have taught him to check for ‘ticket at the back’ so he knows he has put his t-shirt/trousers/jumper in the right way round. Connor knows that until he is dressed, he will not brush his teeth, and until he has brushed his teeth, he cannot have his breakfast and watch tv – we allow him to watch some tv in the morning, as this seems to take the stress out of getting ready for school for him, because it gives him time boundaries.
Sometimes I have to start work at 6am, so I have left before he wakes up, but I always make sure that I tell him the night before, so he knows I won’t be there, but I sneak in and lay out his uniform in the same way, so that the only change to the routine is that he has to go in and jump in Daddy before forgetting to brush his teeth (apparently its daddy’s fault because he doesn’t do the reminding like I do!)If he does this without fuss during the week, as a reward, on one of the weekend days (if we aren’t going out early in the morning) he is allowed to stay in his pyjamas until lunchtime, which for Connor is the best thing ever!
morag59 Hi I’m Lyndsey and I’m 24 and suffer from Aspergers Syndrome.
My mum had to deal with the same thing when I was small. Someone told her to make it fun getting dressed. It would take me so long getting ready in the morning that sometimes I would be late for school which wasn’t good. I found it boring to get dressed because I would have to do all of these rituals in order for me to put the clothes on. Even now as an adult I still have to do rituals to put on my clothes.
My mum used to make a kind of treasure map thing the night before. She would then leave items of clothing around the house according to the treasure map before she went to bed. She would draw a new treasure map each night to mix it up and be a bit more exciting. When I got up in the morning she would tell me that if I could find all of my clothes and put them on everyday then on Sunday I would get a reward. I found this exciting because I never knew what the surprise would be on Sunday. It was usually things like she would take me swimming or get me a new book to read or take me to McDonald’s. She would also keep a chart that I could see so that I knew if I was on my way to getting a reward. I really appreciated this as it gave me something to take my mind off the rituals and focus on something positive.
I’m 24 and I still have to think up ways to make it easier and quicker to put on my clothes and thanks to my mum doing that simple thing it’s so much easier to find ways to put my clothes on.
Sally40 I had a problem with my son when he was younger until i realised that he dressed himself in a set order – if something was missing (usually socks) he would not get dressed and would just sit there. He had a set routine on how he got ready for school so it was a case of everyone sticking to it. I have a friend who wrote a checklist for her son – an itemised list of what he had to do to be ready for school which he would follow.
TonyaSue I have a 7 year old that is high functioning Asperger’s.  This is an ongoing, daily task for me as well.  I have to figure out a way to get him dressed as well as his 2 younger brothers while trying to get myself ready!  There are times where he absolutely refuses to do anything.  He will just sit there and grunt.  I have tried bribing him, I have tried getting him dressed myself.  I am not sure what to do either.  His brothers see this going on and they try to do the same thing which makes my morning even harder!
13 Comments Posted on Autism, Patient Talk

Autism and Challenging Behaviour Part Six. A trip to the dentist and brushing those teeth.

Dentists and Autism

Dentists and Autism

 

When I was young any mention of a visit to the dentist would create a shiver of horror and fear right across the school yard.

In fact, in my case, there was not a whole bunch to worry about in dental terms.  But for a child with autism this may not be the case.

Having talked to  a lot of parents of children with autism I believe dental care may be more than a bit of a worry.  Firstly there is the task of brushing teeth and then there is the sensory overload of a tip to the dentist itself.  The aim of this blog is to give parents and people with ASD the opportunity to share their tips for great dental hygiene.

 

In the case of our seven year old we have eventually found some solutions but, I have to say, with plenty of hiccups along the way.

In fact cleaning teeth is actually helped by his ASD.  One of his sensory “pressure points” is at the back of his mouth along the gums.  So in fact the act of his cleaning his teeth is not a problem at all.  He rather enjoys it.  What did prove to be a problem was getting him to remember to clean his teeth.    What my wife has done is so simple I have to describe it as an act of genius.  Each evening she and John play a game just before going to bed.  The game?  Cleaning your teeth.  In fact he now reminds us it is time to play “cleaning your teeth”.  There is a song to go with it but I’ll not share it for reasons of aesthetics.

Visits to the dentist on the other hand have proved harder.  But we got lucky.  In a conversation with the local Early Years Centre (who provided a lot of the initial support including PECS training) it was mentioned that one of the local NHS Health Centres has a specialist autism clinic once a week. (I should mention that for reasons totally unknown to me they do not publicise the clinic.)

Actually the practice is not that different from other dentists.  Where it does vary is that a lot of the children’s posters are removed from the walls.  Also the staff have been training in behaviours associated with ASD and know how to help in case of meltdown or over stimulation.  But their real trick is to give plenty of time for John to get used to the surgery.  In fact on his first visit they did not look at his teeth.  Rather they let him play with the safer instruments and go up and down on the chair.  By the end of 30 minutes he was very keen to come back and play some more.

Since then he has had to have a couple of interventions.  Both have gone without issue as he has a social story to look at and the procedure is clearly explained in bit sized chunks and carried out at a speed that meets his need.

And the overall outcome?  His latest ambition is to become a dentist.  Not just a dentist but the first dentist on Mars!

So my real advice to other parents looking for a suitable dentist.  Is google for autism specialist.  They do exist and they are very good.

But over to you.  It would be great if you could use the comments box below to share how you deal with your child’s dental health.  Perhaps you might like to consider some of the following questions:-

a)      Do you have any concerns and challenges with your children dental health and visits to a dentist?

b)      How did you establish a teeth cleaning routine?

c)       What is a typical trip to a dentist like for you?

d)      Do you use a specialist dentist?

e)      What advice would you give to another parent of a child with autism who has similar issues?

I really look forward to reading your responses.

Many thanks in advance.

NikkiZumbachHarken I actually am working with a Dentist in creating a ‘plan’ to use for ANY ASD children visiting the dentist (including sensory advice, social stories, and gradual appointments)  Would LOVE to share what we are doing.  If you are interested in being a part of what we are doing please email me nicholekea@gmail.com
Tami Kaye Every morning is a struggle and an argument with my 11 year old son to brush his teeth. I always find it odd because I try to enforce routine and schedule because that is so important. It just seems like after getting up for school for the last 6 years, that routine would have became a natural thing to do. I understand that it is a sensory issue but such a simple thing can disrupt an entire morning for the family. I try not to let it become a power struggle!! I do not want a toothache in that sensory mouth. Been there and done that.

We have been pretty lucky with dentists appointments. The exams go well and the results are usually good as well. a few years ago he did have a cavity and a toothache. It was terrible 🙁  I try to use that as a reminder to why it is sooo important to brush.

I would love to hear any suggestions or ideas. HELP 🙂
SarahFlores Yes, I finally broke down and called a pediatric dentist in wichita, we have a consultation schedule for June, it’s 3hrs away from us but in talking to them and looking on their website I think this is going to be the best way to go 🙂
MaryHayden SarahFlores  Have you tried an incentive or reward? My son, almost 8 now, has a hard time with the dentist. He chooses a reward before hand, something reasonable. He gets that reward if he does well and cooperates for the dentist. I find that a reward system works for my son with most things but the dentist is still a challenge. He also has to know what to expect so we talk about it at least a few days before we go. He usually does a lot better when he knows what’s coming. We use a pediatric dentist, they are good with him. I don’t know if we have any dental programs for ASD or special needs kids in my area.
AmberWilder My 3 year old son use to hate brushing & flossing his teeth but I kept at it and now he tolerates it but still hates going to the dentist lol.. I started out with him on the ground with his arms under my legs, his head between my thighs and have bite on the end if a toddler toothbrush while I brushed his teeth with a different toothbrush.. He hated it at first but I knew I had to keep at it and eventually he didn’t mind it as much so now I’m able to floss his teeth with little floss picks. When I started flossing I also had him bite on the end of a toddler toothbrush. Now I’m able to floss and brush without having him bite on the end if a toothbrush ( the dentist has a biter stick that helps too). It’s definitely hard at first but once you desensitize them it gets easier. He just had his 2nd visit to the dentist and that was a lot if work but I’m hoping if I keep at it that it will get easier 🙂
Choirgirl64 luciecc One thing that works for my son is instead of using the mirror to open and examine, he uses a toothbrush.  My son is used to opening for the toothbrush and enjoys the sensation, so actually will open very wide for the dentist to have a look.  He won’t let a metal mirror in at all.  Perhaps they should invent a plastic toothbrush looking mirror.  When he needs work, even a cleaning, he is put under anaesthetic at the hospital. That has always gone very well.  We’ve had three of these.  He’s 19 now.
Ymkje Wideman First Visit to the Dentist

I approached my grandson’s first visit to the dentist
with some trepidation. When he was little, his Sensory Processing Disorder
(SPD) made brushing his teeth a daily challenge. Still, with persistence, and
experimenting with the brush and toothpaste he liked best, we had settled into
a good routine. He would gingerly “brush” a little bit, and I would finish by
standing behind him, holding his chin with one hand, and gentle brushing until
all his teeth were clean and free from “sugar bugs”.
He only tolerated very little toothpaste on his brush,
which I’d rub into the bristles with my finger, so he’d hardly see it, because
if the gel or paste was atop the bristles he always protested—and he still
does. It must be something about the texture or taste that makes it hard for
him to handle.
I knew his first check-up would include the
hygienist brushing his teeth and applying fluoride, so I was concerned it
wouldn’t turn into a scene. I researched a bit and found Autism Speaks’ very
helpful Dental Tool Kit. You can find and download it here: http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/tool-kits/dental-tool-kit.
I called several local dentists before I settled on
one who understood and was willing to accommodate my special requests for my
grandson’s visit. I emailed and sent information about autism and his needs
ahead of our visit, which they read and acknowledged.
Just after we arranged the appointment, we happened
to visit the local Children’s Museum, which included a “dentist office” with a
real chair that went up and down, an X-ray apron, and some of the “tools” a
dentist uses. It was perfect visual preparation for his upcoming appointment. I
also prepared at home by writing a picture story for Logan, which we went over
repeatedly, and which he carried with him to refer to during his check up.
The staff was so accommodating, and they really
took their time to reassure him and make sure he was comfortable with
everything they were going to do during the check up. I’d asked if I could
bring his own toothpaste, which they said was fine, and they were careful to
show him that they’d just used a little bit.
It took a little longer than a regular trip to the
dentist might take, but all the preparation paid off, and his first visit was
nothing but a pleasant experience for him, paving the way for future successful
visits.
SarahFlores any advice would be great I have to threaten grounding to get him to cooperate for his cleanings and sometimes that doesn’t even work, he is atypical autistic in the grey area between autistic and aspergers, so what works for either side doesn’t necessarily work for him 🙁 next visit they want to do sealants since he turned 8 this year. so looks like I’m in search of a new dentist, it was suggested that I take him to a pediatric dentist….any ideas? he loves brushing his teeth and always reminds me if I forget
DJBlytheII The first time I took Kaylin to a dentist it was a nightmare. As a single dad, I am usually accused of abusing her after someone sees her meltdown. This is what happened at her first dentist appointment. The dentist pulled me aside and interogated me as if I had been mistreating her. I get this a lot but i never get used to it.
Now, I have found a dentist that treats many ASD, SPD, ODD kids and they are awesome! Kaylin just underwent oral surgery and did great.
If your in the Denver area, check out Ridgeview Pediatric dentistry at The Orchards shopping center Westminster, CO. Not only did they take good care of my lil girl but they didnt treat me like a bad dad!
15 Comments Posted on Autism, Patient Talk

Autism and Challenging Behaviour Part Five- Getting a Haircut

Autism and haircuts

Autism and haircuts

Now when I was my son’s age I have to admit that I hated getting my hair cut.  I think it was the boredom of waiting so long for the barber to get round to me that did it.

But with our son John this is not the case at all.  He hates having a haircut and when I mean hate I really do mean hate.  So much so on one of his first outing to my mother’s hairdresser the people from the shop next door came over to see if there was a problem.  So meltdowns were the order of the day.  You can find some great tips for dealing with meltdowns in the comments section of one of our older blog posts here https://patienttalk.org/?p=2349.  Why?  Well in John’s case he has sensory processing disorder which means the feeling of having his hair cut is, to him, one of massive overload of the senses.

Over the years we tried various strategies.  These included cutting his hair at home by a professional hairdresser who is also a friend.  The poor woman ended up cutting her hand with her rather sharp scissors during the haircut as John attempted to do a runner!  We also went to a specialist autism hairdresser.  The problem was that she was only available during the hours that my wife and I were at work.  Even if we could have made it would have taken around an hour’s journey to get to the venue.

So how did we solve the problem?  Well actually luck rather than judgement.  He rather desperately

Autism and haircuts

Autism and haircuts

needed his hair cut and our then nanny Willow offered to take him.   It turned out that she had spotted a local barbers shop which she thought could help.

I had a haircut there yesterday so I thought I would take the opportunity to show what the big draw for Willow was in two pictures illustrating the blog.  As you can see they have a car.  One John could sit in.  And you can see the TV as well – offering a section of the finest space-related cartoons that humans can make.  Not just that – in his hand was Willow’s iPhone with an exciting game of “Angry Birds” on the go.  Did it work?
Well more or less.  His hair got cut and no one went to hospital.  But most importantly he started to calm down when his hair was being cut.  So yes it is a rather incremental thing but it worked for us.

In fact these days he is happy to grasp an iPad and  have his head clippered as long as it takes less than five minutes.

That’s how we did it.  How about you?  One of the objectives of blog posts like this is to get other members of the autism community to share their experiences with others.  It would be great if you could share your story about getting haircuts either for yourself or your loved one.  Please feel free to use the comments box below to share.

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You might like to think in terms of the following questions:-

a)                        Did you have particular problems with haircuts?

b)                       What was the root cause of the problems?

c)What techniques did you use to overcome the problem and end it with a cut which worked?

d)                       What advice would you give to a parent about to embark on the hair cutting  autism journey?

And finally there is another option.  Don’t bother.  One of the boys in John’s class (they all have ASD) just has long hair.  It’s clean and looks great.  Albeit a bit heavy mental fan circa 1980.  So that may prove the best way out.

 

Kylesmum My 5 year old will have a meltdown with every haircut but the funny thing is that he will keep still … it’s so hard for me to watch cause what we do is that my husband will cut his hair with the clippers whist my son is sitting in the bath (empty of course) and he puts up with with about 10-15 mind of very emotional crying, trembling and sweating but once he is done he hits the off button on the machine and my son will start so sing and laughing with relief.
We have tried to put him in the empty bath with lots of thing to try to distract him but nothing seems to work e.g. iPad, favourite toys, turned the bath into a ball park nothing seems to calm him but as I said the only good thing is that he wount fight it and he can get his hair done quickly
Kylesmum My 5 year old will have a meltdown with every haircut but the funny thing is that he will keep still … it’s so hard for me to watch cause what we do is that my husband will cut his hair with the clippers whist my son is sitting in the bath (empty of course) and he puts up with with about 10-15 mind of very emotional crying, trembling and sweating but once he is done he hits the off button on the machine and my son will start so sing and laughing with relief.
We have tried to put him in the empty bath with lots of thing to try to distract him but nothing seems to work e.g. iPad, favourite toys, turned the bath into a ball park nothing seems to calm him but as I said the only good thing is that he wount fight it and he can get his hair done quickly .
MylaBides my husband and i used to wait until my daughter was asleep before we cut her hair. that was until she was 8-9.

then we bought clippers which we first used on my younger son while she watched. when it was her turn, she didn’t protest. maybe because she saw my son was alright. or maybe because she was playing around the playground, walking around while my husband followed her around.

of course he had to use rechargeable clippers. the wire simply will not cut it–pardon the pun!
Timingreenville At that age he would sit in my, his dad’s, lap.
Timingreenville We were very concerned with taking our 16 year old. I spoke to Christian at Great Clips as she cut my hair. She said to bring him in and they would work with in. A big issue with us is getting him in and out of the car. Transitions can be very hard for him. This time he sat through and shocked my wife and I. Then he got up and had to turn off the lights. I tried to prevent but he had to do it. Then he walked right out like no big deal.
Now with summer we will buzz him outside on the deck. He has gotten better about getting around his ears. It tickles.
SarahMKInnes My (almost) 7yr old (ASD and ADHD) just had his hair cut today. He will only have it cut at Sharkey’s (kids haircutting place) and will only allow the hairdresser use scissors – NO clippers whatsoever. Today there was a minor meltdown when he found out that their Super Mario game had worn out and they threw it out (he is obsessed with Super Mario) but once we got over that he was a bit squirmy but made out ok. I find what helps is if the hairdresser warns him beforehand (eg. “I’m going to spray some more water now”). We also try to make sure it is the same person every time that cuts his hair.
SneakyMumInOmaha Read SneakyMumInOmaha
SneakyMumInOmaha My 5yr old screams bloody murder everytime we try to cut his hair…except for that time when he woke up with a buzz cut. Oh yes I did. The trick is to turn the clippers on from a distance and then walk toward him. They’re pretty loud when you fire them up. And make sure your clippers are well oiled so they don’t pull his hair. You don’t want him waking up with a partial buzz-cut. And you’ll want to lay a towel down for easy cleanup and an itchless night. Good luck 🙂

 
sneedley13 Similar to PeterKijek below , our biggest problem was getting Connor to sit still in the chair. He also like to look around and see what everyone is doing. He now plays with the iPad/iPhone when he’s in the chair. We have found that he is much better when his Dad takes him rather than me, usually because he will get his hair cut at the same time (first) so Connor can see it, although we still have problems around the ears, either with the clippers or the scissors!
marionburns TiffanyIvison  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=106711162797745&ref=ts&fref=ts

get in touch and i will talk you through some tips .
TiffanyIvison I have not found a way to make it work yet and am open to suggestions! My son is almost 2 and was just diagnosed with Autism, we already knew he had SPD. He was born with a lot of hair so we have had to visit the hair dressers many times and it gets worse with each visit. We are due for another cut soon and I have anxiety just thinking about it.
EricaPurtell I’ve found that if my Partner (his father) gets his hair cut first with my son watching we’re all good until we get to trimming around the ears- that’s the only thing we have a problem with….
lifeisarainbowmummy My son is actually sensory seeking at times and he loved my hairdresser who offered head massages even as a baby so he looked forward to getting his hair cut. We had major issues when my hairdresser went on maternity leave but we managed to convince him to let my new hairdresser cut his hair. One interesting thing we have found is that our son dislikes parting with any part of himself, after every haircut he has had, he has got down on the floor and picked up every last hair… thankfully he has the angelic looks to get away with it and hairdressers happily provide him with a bag – and we have a money bag full of hair for every single haircut he has had in the last 6 years! We even have a little tub of nail clippings (bag over head) as he would not let me clip his nails which he despises unless he could keep them. He was also terrified of losing his first tooth and sobbed for an hour when he realised his tooth was wobbling as he was terrified the tooth fairy would take it from him. We had to promise he could keep it in his sterling silver my first tooth box and wrote to the tooth fairy to ask if he could keep it. He still got a pound and a very reassuring letter from the tooth fairy!
marybethpalo I too had the same problems – what I had discovered was that my son not only learned from video but also we could film future events like a hair cut and the anxiety basically disappeared.  So – I used video modeling for years to teach and to familiarize my son with situations.  Seeing a man getting his hair cut up close and being able to watch it over and over seemed to do the trick.  We had been cutting his hair at home, in the bath tub, on the swing – you name it we had tried it!
PeteKijek Actually, I have had a similar experience with my autistic son. His main problem was not sitting still in the barbers chair, and he constantly looks round to see what the barber is doing! As you’ve mentioned, the TV nearby is a great distraction for him, (he’s a bit too big and too old for a car chair now 😉 ) but he also enjoys looking in the mirror at what the person is doing. I think he never quite understood how what was happening in the mirror was what was happening to the back of his head!


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Suzie Goes to a Funeral – a new book for autistic children to help with attending a funeral.


Suzie goes to a funeral

Suzie goes to a funeral

How do you explain a funeral to an autistic child?

So far John, with ASD, has been to two funerals.  Both interestingly in foreign countries.  One was prior to his diagnosis and our issues were more to do with jet lag than autism.  The second was more problematic but happily the day went well.  The day after on the other hand……………

In today’s blog Charlotte Olson introduces us to another in her series of books which aim to help parents of children on the autistic spectrum deal with specific events.  In this case it is Suzie’s grandmothers funeral.

Olson writes “Join Suzie as she goes to Grandma’s funeral and says goodbye.

A simple story that can help a child who may be feeling anxious about going to a funeral.

A story that can help by explaining to a child what they might experience on this sad day.”

You can find out more about the book her http://www.suziebooks.co.uk/funeral.htm.

If you have any tips for taking autistic children to a funeral or can mention any possible pitfalls please use the comments box below to share your story!

Many thanks in advance!


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Autism and Challenging Behaviour Part 3– Biting and Scratching at School – With updated comments

ResourceBase for Autistic Children

ResourceBase for Autistic Children

As regular readers will know our son, who has classic autism, attends a ResourseBase for autistic children based in a mainstream school.  You can read more about the concept and how it works here https://patienttalk.org/?p=1614.  (As I mentioned I’m really impressed with the quality of support he gets from the school.  Indeed he has just returned and is literally asleep from all the stuff he does during the week.  With a ResourceBase it seems not a moment is wasted).

In fact the ResourceBase played a major role in helping to solve at bit of a challenge which came our way a few weeks ago. I became aware of the problem when   I received a call from Tracey, the teacher in charge of the unit.  Tracey explained to me that there had been a problem at the lunchtime play break and our son, John,  had both bitten and scratched another student..  He had been surrounded by a group of children and rather than joining in with their play, as they wanted, he had become overwhelmed by the experience which made him angry. So he lost his temper and attacked another pupil.

Obviously the other student was very upset and, of course, did not appreciate why John had reacted like this when they only wanted to be friendly.

Tracey spoke with John, privately, afterwards to find out the cause and see how she could help. While they decided not to punish him they did decide that he should not attend his mainstream class that afternoon.

Unfortunately there was a similar but milder incident the next day.  So a tactic to prevent this occurring again had to be found.

Tracey asked me to drop into school one afternoon a couple of days later to discuss how we all should deal with the situation.

The solution she had hit upon, I have to say, was a bit of inspired genius.

After each morning and afternoon session John would go to her room.   If he had not bitten, scratched or fought with another child then he would be able to put another bit on Tom.

So who’s Tom?

Tom is a glove puppet (in this case a monster).  Different parts of his body can be added one by one to create a complete puppet by the end of each week.

If all has gone well John will be able to play with Tom at the very end of his school week as a reward for his good behaviour.

Does this kind of reward work?  Well in John’s case it seems to.  In the first week another child bit him.  Instead of lashing out he curled up into a ball and refused to do anything as he did not wish to lose his time with Tom even if he was angry,

Obviously we are still in very early days but, for us, this seems to be a strategy that works.

So what about you?  How have you dealt with biting and scratching by an autistic child?  It would be great if you could share your story in the comments box below.  You might like to consider some of the following questions when putting together your answers:-

1)      How often does your child bite or scratch in school?  Are they violent in other ways?

2)      What triggers these kinds of behaviours?

3)      What techniques have you used to discourage them from violence in school?  How effective were they?

4)      What do you think about using a reward system like Tom the monster puppet?

I really look forward to reading your responses

 

Thanks very much in advance.

 

SamanthaMedrano My sons 3 and he only bites me his mother or family or himself. He gets too overwhelmed while in public he also has sensory issues. We have a chew tube with him at all times it can also go arround his neck. But no issues in school yet.
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ThomasRaphaelHyle I’m going to guess 8 years old
ThomasRaphaelHyle I have only ever been violent when provoked. I am always highly suspicious of stories about other autistics being violent. But this story particularly smells; “playing” is often what bullies try to claim, and I remember as a young child being surrounded (repeatedly) by other children in school and they were not playing “with” me, but “at” me, if you will. I was not a playmate; I was the object of play. The teacher told me nothing was wrong and to go back to playing with the other children. Eventually I did snatch one of them from the mocking, dancing, throwing, hitting ring, and beat his head off the floor repeatedly.
ThomasRaphaelHyle being surrounded does not sound friendly to me. That story has a smell about it.
smckee0707 My daughter is 8 she is autisic as well she is known to pinch hit throw chairs whatever she can when she is upset bc like other kids with autism explaining whats upsetting her isnt gonna happen she is in special ed all day besides for like P.E. ex and 20 mins a day in regular class which seems to be a little to much stimulating for her bc thats when she gets upset the reason i posted on this is bc right b4 her 8th birthday is when she was diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder/autism and the school has done nothing i took up her diagnosis from the doctor to the school when she was enrolled i made sure i put all that information on her paperwork and at school she was put in detention for pinching a kid who she asked 3 times to move the little girl was leaning over her desk while she was trying to work my daughter couldn’t concentrate at all and she got upset. ..now i am a believer she needs to be talked to about her actions bc violence is never the answer but after speaking with the special ed department the lady told me my daughter did NOT HAVE AUTISM so i politely said are u aware u are speaking with her mother bc she does have autism i do have papers from her doctor and from the social security office saying she is disabled she said oh ok well bring in her papers to me tomorrow and we will work on this so.!!! Question am i wrong for being upset ive done everything by making the school aware of her autism but bc she doesnt LOOK like she has autism its been over looked so i am so upset and a littler nervous to have the meeting with the school tomorrow bc its a very big deal.my child has had such a hard time learning she is suppose to be in 3 rd grade and is only doing low kindergarten average work and it breaks my heart bc i did all the early intervention started at 2 and was told from 2 until almost 8 idk whats wrong with your kid and things like this are still being ignored so my plan i think is to get a good nights rest and go in there as positive as possible but this so un called for and i hate this keeps happening to my daughter she has such good potential. .
homeschoolmommy We had problems with our daughter getting over stimulated at school.  She didn’t get aggressive but would start crying and withdraw.  They disciplined her by making her sit out at recess and lunch, as many as 3 times a day for “pouting and being uncooperative”.  After addressing this issue with them and being told they could not have special rules for any student, I pulled our daughter out and home schooled her.  It is working out beautifully.  I am able to control her environment better and help guide her through difficult circumstances.
go botherdaddy PaulineEstherHunt  PLeas do not take offense.  I am a 34 yr old woman, with a 34 yr old husband who has aspergers and an 8 yr old son with autism.  The problem is the rules and regulation of mainstream schooling.  Alot of parents believe it will benefit children.  My husband was in mainstream school because his family denied and his his condition.  I have a friend who’s son is the around the same age as yours which she is going to start home schooling.  My friend’s son has just started middle school.  The assistance for special needs is limited. In a school built around autism the accommodations are endless.  As you described, your son liking to work on his own….the overwhelming stimulation is probably what is getting him going.  Your son has even admitted he functions better with the tasks at hand and behavior without it.  A special school would allow him to be involved in class but remove him for personal time during his studies if need be.  There are classes that only consist of 6 students per grade.  If he needs a “time out” from the stress (which my husband still needs after all these years.  he sits in bathroom and rocks while he cries) they will give it to him as need be.  Everything is arranged more personally to fit your son than main stream schools such as courses, time invested in them extra help etc.  Alot of people dont like the stereo of an “autistic” school.  I didnt either.  I believed it would have made my son “worse”.  I was never more wrong.  He’s happy and thriving.  I said to myself, “He’s happy and it works for him…”  One big problem my friend is having here (Upstate NY) is that because she said her son didnt need the extra help his whole life, not that everything has caught up with him and he’s struggling, the school board is denying her the help she needs because she has had him go this long without it.  It costs the school board 4x as much to supply the full assistance for special needs, and by putting him mainstream for so long it give the board the right to save their money for someone else by arguing and defending that the 8 years he coasted without proves he can get by.  Best of luck.  And Hope and wish nothing but the best for you and your son.
go botherdaddy FInd the underlining message.  What causes the repeat offense.  The action of biting etc is to get a quick and clear message instantly across to someone.  For example.  Like clockwork, my husband will try to lay with our 8 yr old autistic son on the couch.  My husband will put Isaiah (our son) on the inside of the couch and after a moment Isaiah will bite him in the shoulder.  Its Isaiah’s reminder to my husband “Dont confine me!”  Now, knowing this to decrease the negative behavior, everything thing we do, we ask ourselves , “Will this confine and upset ISaiah?”  If the answer is yes, we find a way around it.  My son pinched, dug, bit, kicked since he was 2 yrs old chronically.  Breaking it down, using this approach, on average twice a month.
PaulineEstherHunt Hi I have a 12 year old boy with asd who is currently in mainstream school has just been given his fourth internal exsclusion for violent behaviour towards another pupil. School policy is to exclude however for my son he likes to be on his own and to be in a room all day on his own with the set work is heaven. He has openly told me he likes it as there is no noise or rushing around and noone bothering him.
The school do not except my query as to an alternative punishment for this reason and simply continue to say he will be punished as per the policy set.
In the long run this is not helping he is lashing out more and more and he knows with very little effort he can get one or two days on his own.
We are still searching for support and advice to help and or ease the situation!
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LisaGillen I love this idea, and i am going to try it!  However I foresee my 3 year old student as having fits every time he is allowed to put another bit on, and still not play with it until the end of the week.  My student loves to play with those bead toys that you can move along skinny metal tubes.  I thought maybe I could allow him to move some, and let him know if he doesnt hit all week we can get it down (or some other distraction toy) on Friday and he will get to play with it