Self-Esteem and ADHD

Struggling with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) symptoms throughout the developmental years can take a toll on an individual’s self-esteem throughout their life. Because children with ADHD can find it difficult to sit still, meet academic deadlines, and engage with their peers, they are too often labeled “disruptive,” “lazy,” or even “weird.”

These kids often feel frustrated and defeated when they just can’t do things as easily as others seem to. If your child has ADHD, you may have noticed that he or she often seems down about his or her grades or social life. If your child’s diagnosis is recent, he or she may be feeling bad about being labeled “different.” Maybe your child has even said negative things about his or her intelligence or personality, making you worry that his or her self-esteem is at an all-time low.

Here are some ways you can help your child feel more confident and empowered.

 

1. Remind Your Child That ADHD Does Not Define Him or Her

 An ADHD diagnosis can be difficult for children and parents alike. Your child might worry that the diagnosis means something is “wrong” with him or her. In truth, an ADHD diagnosis is nothing to be ashamed of.

As a parent, you can reassure your child that no one is “normal” and that he or she is much more than ADHD. Your child is still his or her own unique person, with hopes, dreams, and goals that can be achieved. With the right help, many children with ADHD excel in school, pursue meaningful extracurriculars, and form healthy relationships.

So, celebrate your child’s strengths and encourage your child’s interests, helping him or her develop an identity of his or her own.

 

1. Point Out Your Child’s ADHD “Superpowers”

 

Although ADHD is considered a “disorder,” it actually comes with a lot of positives. Children with ADHD are often imaginative, adaptable, passionate, adventurous, and observant. Your child might also be a quick thinker and creative problem solver who is receptive to new ideas.

Let your child know that having a brain that works a little bit differently is not always a bad thing. Even though more rigid environments, including the classroom, might be difficult for your child, there are so many places where he or she can thrive.

 

1. Offer Positive Reinforcement

 

If your child misses a due date or comes home upset about a bad grade, don’t punish him or her further. Instead, open up a conversation about how he or she can avoid the mistake in the future.

And, when your child overcomes an obstacle and does something well, take notice! For example, if you usually have to beg your child to clean his or her room, offer praise when he or she takes the initiative to tidy up. If you see that your child is really trying not to interrupt during a conversation, later on, let him or her know you appreciate the politeness.

The more your child sees that he or she can make positive changes and achieve goals, no matter how small, the more positive and hopeful his or her outlook will be!

1. Listen, Listen, Listen

 Above all else, listen to your child. Open up conversations about what he or she is struggling with, apprehensive about, and excited about. Through actively engaging with your child by asking questions instead of offering suggestions, you can demonstrate that his or her thoughts and feelings matter.

By helping boost your child’s self-esteem now, you can help him or her feel capable and worthy throughout his or her life.

For more tips, including strategies for advocating for your child at school, check out my  .

Ultimate Guide to Parenting a Child With ADHD.”