When you have an invisible disability, the first challenge is getting other people to believe you — to encourage them to express empathy for someone else. After that, though, you need to learn to listen to how your disability may negatively impact them — that is, to show the very empathy for others that you insist on receiving.

I’ve consistently confronted this dual task when writing about being on the autism spectrum, a task that can be especially sensitive (if rewarding) when discussing dating with autism. Indeed, my first article published at Salon discussed autism and dating. That was more than four years ago. When my writing career began in 2012, I never dreamed that I would open up about being on the autism spectrum, much less delve into the vulnerable details of my personal life. Yet the subject proved popular and was cathartic to discuss, so I periodically returned to it over the years.

Starting on August 28, 2016, a new chapter began. On that day, I entered a long-term relationship with my current girlfriend, Charlotte.”

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