From eating, sleeping and nappy changes, to what to buy and taking everyone else’s advice ahead

of their own, study asks mums what they have done differently when becoming a second time mum

While it’s long been known that mums know best when it come to their little ones, a new study released today shows that maternal instinct can be helped along by gaining some hands on experience.

In a bid to share the key learning’s from having their first child, mums of two or more have painted a very clear picture about the things they wish they had known first time round.

Topping the list of things mums wish they had known first time round include the fact that sometimes routines don’t work and it’s not the end of the world (57%), no two babies are the same (50%) and asking for help isn’t admitting you’re struggling (47%).Second time mums also spend considerably less time swatting up on baby books or online parenting forums, with 78% trusting their own instincts,  compared to first time Mums who search for advice, in the form of  friends, family, baby books and online forums (60%).

Over three quarters (78%) of mums said they bought unnecessary items for their first child which they avoided second time around after deciding they were useless; designer baby clothes (32%), wipe warmers (23%) and shoes for new-borns (21%) topped the list of items that were most likely to remain unused and gathering dust in the nursery.

In fact over a fifth (21%) of savvy second time mums saved up to £200 on their second baby, with the second-time mum more likely to think with her wallet and adopt cost saving tactics such as accepting hand-me-downs (18%) and buying own-brand wipes and nappies (29%).

The study by Sainsbury’s also found that it’s not just money that the savvy second time mums are banking, it seems they also save time. Many of the things mums did religiously with baby number one were not repeated with baby number two, such as regularly weighing baby, instead of trusting their instincts about weight gain/loss (54%), over-sterilising utensils (38%) and ironing baby muslins (15%).

The interview with Dr. Pat Spungin and Rhian Bartlett, Sainsbury’s Category Manager for Baby, was carried out by Teekshana Smith.

SMITH: Welcome to Patient Talk. While it’s always been known that mums know best when it comes to their little ones, a new study realised today shows maternal instinct can be helped along by gaining some hands on experience. Joining me today is Dr Pat Spungin and family sociologist Rhian Bartlett Sainsbury’s category manager for baby. Welcome!

So can you let us know a little bit more about what the study was and what you found out?

DR SPUNGIN This is a survey from Sainsbury’s Little Ones, and basically what they found was second time round mothers are much more savvy, They have more confidents in their own ability, they know what’s important and what’s not and as consequence they spend less time and less money for their second baby, and the amount of money they’ve saved compare to first babies first year is £200.

SMITH: So quite a large saving. What were some of the things that mums wished that they’d known about when they had baby number one?

MS BARTLETT So the things that came back on the survey that were on the top of mums list that she would have known. Firstly was around routines, and that they don’t always work and that’s okay. So I think with for first time mums, they feel a lot of pressure that they put upon them self’s by reading all the experts’ advice can put them under that things have to be a certain way, and by the second time around they know that baby will sleep when baby wants to sleep if he’s tired and eat when babies are hungry and that’s okay to be guided a bit more by your little one, than rather by your schedule. They also mentioned that buying expensive baby clothes is a complete waste of money and something they wouldn’t do again, Partly because the price tags are just not justified for that garment and also because baby grows out of them so quickly and keeping things for best for baby is a false economy.

SMITH: Talking of designer clothes, there’s quite a lot of pressure with celebrities dressing there kids in very fashionable items, How can a mum buy things are just as fashionable on a budget or can you insure that you buy one item that your second baby can also wear it in the future?

MS BARTLETT Yeah very much so, so the survey found that if you are buying clothes for your first and you are able to a neutral pallet, they will definitely be able to use them a second and third time around, which is a great way of buying and making things go a little bit further. But also the range is in the high street and Sainsbury’s and I would say that, but you can get some fantastic clothes without having to spend a lot of money to do so that have got great pallets and stuff and the designer label really is not necessary.

SMITH: What I also wanted to ask was in regards to books is you found out that mums spend a lot less time swatting now, is that because they know what’s coming up or is it because no baby is the same?

DR SPUNGIN Well it is easy to say that no baby is the same and there’s no set of rules that applies to all babies regardless, but I think once you never been through something you’re looking for help to help you find your way through it, once you been through experience has taught you an awful lot and therefore you don’t have to go rushing out to go get a book and see if this is normal or is this rite, or shall I do this or should I do that, and I think the other thing to know is that experts don’t always agree, so if over 75% of mothers say that the second time around I was able to trust my instinct more and I think that’s a good place to start.

SMITH: And Pat did you find that the results of the study actually match some of your own experience?

DR SPUNGIN Absolutely I think that I was an apprehensive first time mother and I had books there to support me, but by the time number two came along I was much more at ease and had much more confidence in doing what I thought was the right thing without having to rush off to look up. I’ve got three kids and by the time I got to my third child, she’s a product of what I call benign neglect. We loved her, but we didn’t fuss over her and do you know what, I think she’s so much better off for it.

SMITH: In terms of savings, obviously you can have different sexes in children, is there a way of maybe when you have that first child, buying things that would be able to go across both sexes for the second child as such?

MS BARTLETT Yeah well there’s lots of equipment that can be reused of course, so a great buggy is always a really good investment. The mums in the survey were quite keen as well to point out the things that weren’t such a good investment and that’s how to make savings as well as making things go round twice. So we’ve talked a bit about baby clothes, but buying shoes for a new-born was considered by one in five of our mums to be a really bad and unnecessary waste of money and actually it’s not just a waste of money, but it’s not terribly good for a new-born’s feet to be put in shoes. And then all manner of gadgets and equipment that they considered were not good value for money and weren’t used and sat in the cupboard collecting dust. So wipe warmers is top of the list for gadgets that were no use and this is a gadget that brings baby wipes up to body temperature. If your house is so cold that you need one we think you might have bigger issues or greater use for your money than buying a wipe warmer! Our second time round mums also said that they switched into own brand and about a third of them did that for nappies and wipes and toiletries as a great way to save money without compromising on quality.

SMITH: Keeping an eye out for deals and bulk buying at that time is one that we’ve actually, some of our viewers have said that they do that to try and save money.

MS BARTLETT Absolutely, we see lots of that going on. We know that mums will shop around for deals on their everyday baby essentials. We’ve got lots of offers and tips and advice on the Sainsbury’s Little Ones website which is our baby and toddler club and if you join you get a £5 voucher to spend on Little Ones products in store.

SMITH: If you had one key piece of advice for first time mums, what would it be?

DR SPUNGIN I think for me it would be trust your instincts. I’m going to give you two actually – I think the second one would be don’t compare your baby with anybody else’s baby. In fact don’t even compare your second baby with your first baby or any other baby because they all develop at different rates and it doesn’t matter if they learn to walk or talk or get into a sleep routine at a different time from somebody else’s baby. In the long term it will have no significance whatsoever, so just enjoy your baby in the here and now.

SMITH: For a first time mum, obviously you will be taking a lot more supplements or vitamins to boost your body in preparation. Is there a way of maybe saving on that front when you’re a second time mum or are they just as important?

MS BARTLETT Well Sainsbury’s run a three for two across all of our vitamins and minerals and that’s a mix and match offer, so that’s quite a good way if you can buy three at a time to balance your supplements needs and buy three different things at once. If you go onto the Sainsbury’s website /littleones it’s a baby and toddler club, so it’s full of hints and tips, advice, nutrition, recipes and offers for mums and dads of children under five and if you sign up to the club, you’ll get a voucher for £5 to spend on Little Ones products in store.

SMITH: Great thank you so much both of us today for joining us on Patient Talk.