One of the things we do throughout our lives when we are expecting something important to happen is to prepare. Taking an exam; applying for a job; arranging a holiday or thinking about retirement all involve assessing our options, conversations with people we care about and important decision-making. When it comes to an event which we will all inevitably experience, dying, we are much less likely to have a plan, despite it being the one thing which we have only one chance to get right.
If we take the opportunity to think about what is really important to us as we reach the end of our lives before it happens and to talk to the people who care about us, it is much more likely that how we die reflects who we are and what we want. Making a will, thinking about how and where we want to be cared for, talking about organ donation, sharing how we want to be remembered and deciding on a funeral plan can ensure that everyone knows what we want. This can take the pressure off families, minimising the risk of misunderstandings at a stressful time. Knowing someone’s wishes have been met can be a wonderful gift to families and friends after we die and can help them in bereavement.
Dr Julia Grant, Consultant in Palliative Medicine at Leicester’s Hospitals said: “Around two thirds of people surveyed on behalf of Macmillan Cancer Support in 2017 reported that they felt we do not talk enough about death in this country. Whilst many people living with a life limiting illness had thought about death and dying, most do not talk to friends and family and very few bring up this subject with doctors and nurses. Most people are fearful of death and find starting a conversation really hard. Some people find it too difficult to talk about but for those that do; sharing their concerns can relieve anxiety and help them to feel more in control of their future.”
This week sees the start of Dying Matters Week, an unparalleled opportunity to talk about dying death and bereavement. The theme of the week is #What Can You Do?
Dr Grant continues: “We are one of hundreds of organisations across England running events to encourage staff and the public to start talking about their own experiences, preferences, goals and fears. It’s okay to talk about death and dying. It’s an important subject to talk about and talking about it won’t make dying happen any sooner; it just means that when we do die, it is more likely to be how we want it to be.”
During the week we will be launching our new intranet pages giving easy access to information and resources for our staff. We will be using social media to signpost to facts and information, running road shows at each of our hospitals, culminating in an education event “Dying to know more…?” at the end of the week for our clinical teams.
“We are really proud of how we support patients and families at the end of life at UHL, and want to ensure that we get it right every time. Talking about uncertainty with patients and families before they are really unwell allows us to plan care more effectively and achieve what is most important for them,” said Dr Julia Grant, Consultant in Palliative Medicine. “Dying Matters Week gives us the opportunity to talk about something that is really important to patients, families and staff and we are looking forward to getting involved.”