Autism and Eye Contact
When our son was being diagnosed with autism one of the number of traits he presented was not making eye contact. Toy can read more about the process at a previous blog on the subject here https://patienttalk.org/how-easy-was-it-to-get-your-child-diagnosed-with-autism/
Indeed lack of eye contact has been identified as one of the key indicators in an autism diagnosis.
But for us that was not exactly the whole story. One of the issues with our son was that he did make eye contact but only with his mother so when she was around diagnosis was harder.
This set me wondering as to the experiences of other people. What were the issues with eye contact prior to diagnosis with autism or ASD.
Firstly it would be great if you could take our poll below.
Secondly we would love it if you could use the comment boxes below to share your eye contact story in more detail.
Thanks very much in advance.
My daughter wasn’t diagnosed on the spectrum until she was 14. She has a higher functioning form. But she does also have severe social anxiety and general anxiety. However she has never maintained eye contact. With family or even myself. She is unable to speak or interact with strangers. Even has difficulty speaking to people she doesn’t know well. She tries very hard and usually can talk and interact with most of her family. I tried for quite a while, along with her therapist to help her maintain eye contact more. Unfortunately it created severe anxiety most times. Basically if she doesn’t have to have eye contact she can talk and visit with us pretty good most of the time. I am a parent who believes in encouraging my child to push herself to a certain degree, yes. But I will never force her. I won’t be a part of causing severe anxiety for her. Its a line I have to ride constantly. I won’t ever say to her, “Name, look at me”.
My son has never had real issues with eye contact. He has nearly always made it with me. Does with others UNLESS he doesn’t want to do what the person is saying or hear them and than refuses to look at them. Honestly I believe that’s pretty typical child behavior.
When my son was first diagnosed with Autism they said he did not make eye contact. I said “yes he does”!! But then the doctors showed me that my son only established eye contact with me and my husband. I just thought he was shy around others people as to why he looked away. He is doing better but my husband and I have made it a point to encourage eye contact …for example if we go out to eat at a fast food place we make him step up to the counter and order his own food. Once in a while my son will have a teacher or coach that seems to be able to hold eye contact with him. I am always IMPRESSED by that!! It is like that have a connection with him and that always makes me smile.
My son makes eye contact when he is interested in the conversation and when he is feeling comfortable and confident. Eye contact has never been an issue for me. It is a culturally imposed requirement. Not all cultures demand eye contact, in fact some demand no eye contact. Some people are comfortable with it and some are not ( such as introverts). If autistics don’t want to make eye contact I don’t think it should be forced on them, it will just make them feel very uncomfortable and insecure, and so not help them develop communication skills, but do the opposite.