Autism – potty training
Updated with comments below
As many of you know we run a autism page on Facebook called AutismTalk. You can check it out here https://www.facebook.com/AutismTalk. One of the most frequent topics of conversation/requests for advice is on potty training for children with autism.
The aim of this blog post is to provide a space where we can discuss the various techniques we have used to help children with autism use the toilet correctly.
Speaking as a parent of a now seven year old boy with ASD the experience of potty training was a bit traumatic. One of my biggest issues was not the many accidents en route but the occasional smearing faeces on walls and carpets.
Reading the stories of others on the page I realise that my wife and I were actually pretty lucky with our child. In the last year he has very rarely had what he refers to as “an accident” at night and only once during the day. That being said the whole training process lasted nearly three years. So my first bit of news is that it will happen nowhere near as fast as with a neurotypical child.
Our strategy was pretty straight forward.
Firstly we got him used to being on the potty. Though he would occasionally spend the afternoon “on the can” playing with the laptop. This may have been a mistake as we had to wean him off the laptop.
Secondly we used a social story to help him move to the toilet proper. The story took him through the process of sitting down on the toilet, wiping his bottom when he had finished and then flushing the lavatory (he still has problems with this). Finally washing and drying his hands. The picture I’ve used to illustrate this blog is the one we actually used in our bathroom. Apologies if the resolution is not great.
It is worth mentioning that you do need to get everyone to buy into the project. A consistent message is great. This does mean he had a spare set of clothes at school and nursery. And yes they were used. But because he was in a specialist unit for toddlers with ASD when we started toilet training there was no embarrassment from the staff about the situation.
That being said there are loads of great ideas out there to help toilet train kids with autism. One of the objectives of this blog post is to find out how you potty trained your autistic child. It would be great if you could share your story at the comments box below,
To help matters along you might care to think about the following questions:-
a) Did you have any issues with toilet training? If so what were the specific challenges?
b) At what age did you start toilet training and at what age was the process, more or less, complete?
c) What techniques did you use to facilitate the toilet training? How successful were they?
d) Is there any advice you would like to give to parents of ASD children who are about to embark on the toilet training journey?
Thanks very much in advance for your help!
You can read the previous blog on autism and meltdowns here – https://patienttalk.org/?p=2349
| MirendaR | I had a polarised experience. One child pottery trained himself after 1 use of the toilet & the other took years. Each child was different. I just accepted them as they were and let them set their own pace. It was the easiest thing for my blood pressure. |
| DaniAlice | Hi I have add and I have meltdowns and I know when I am having one and I take myself into my flat and when I start feeling like I am getting angry I take myself to my flat where I can calm down |
| dianapagan | My daughter is 4 and I have been working with her for a few months now, at the start she didnt want to sit on the toilet, so I waited. I started her again and now she sits on the toilet with no propblem, in the morning I take her to the bathroom as soon as she gets up, and she usually pees, after that she wears her panties through out the day, her problem is that she will usually poop on herself, i take her very 20 minutes, to see if shell go, if I see her pushing then we usually run to the bathroom, her school also is helping out with the training, keep trying and be persistent. |
| Kimberly2686 | My little girl will be 4 next month she mostly non verbal and she isn’t potty trained…every time I try to put her on a toilet she freaks out which I think comes from when she was smaller I had her on a changing table in a public restroom and all the loud toilets flushed together and scared her so I’ve hit a wall with potty training but I feel she wants to be done with diapers cause she will rip them off and go on my floor…. Actually it’s hard keeping any clothes on her at all here lately she has also had many adventures in finger painting with her poo on my walls….. Any advice ??! |
| Tiabelle | Hi sharon. My daughter is 8 now and were still having a hard time potty trained her. Can you give me good tips |
| CharlotteOlson | Here are some of the titles I write to help children cope with new situations. They are based on our own experiences with our son who has a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome. Feel free ton contact me if you need any more information. Charlotte. |
| sharonmcmahon | CarrieHoughtaling Hi Carrie – I think you are trying when they are too young – what works for one child does not always work for another (meaning your older children). If your children still have bottles – don’t try until they are ready to give up the bottle – it will do your head in – especially your 1.5years. We tried a few times with our son before he had given up his bottle and it was a nightmare. We learnt that dealing with autism for our son meant all the usual milestones would happen later – that included toileting. Persist with your son who is now 4 but leave the little 1.5 year old for another year – let your focus be on the one who needs it most 🙂 |
| sharonmcmahon | CarrieHoughtaling Hi Carrie – i have just posted sharonmcmahon – if you want to pm please feel free to do so – my son is now 10 and a half – lots of hurdles but he has made huge progress over the years. |
| sharonmcmahon | Our son, now aged 10, had a bottle (milk) until he turned 4 – it made it incredibly hard to toilet train as we could not monitor it easily enough. Once we stopped his bottles, it became much easier. We knew the signs for when he wanted to do no.2 but not so no.1 We would continuously watch (when at home) for signs of no.2 then race him off to the toilet – we had a child seat on our toilet (just a standard one that sat inside the normal toilet seat) and a step. He was of course not happy about it but we persisted – it took a while (couple of months). Lots of praise and cuddles even while he sat doing his no.2 telling him it was ok and good job. We noticed his nappies getting less wet during the day and then put jocks on. Initially within half an hour of eating or drinking we would take him to the toilet. He hated the feel of wet on him – (and still does now – 3 drops of wet on his clothes and he removed them – although he has progressed heaps and is much more resillient). We also sat him down to do no.1 which made it much easier for him. By age 5 he was fully dry during the day and by 5.5years dry at night. Night-time is tricky – we used to wake him up around midnight to take him to the toilet and also again at about 5am in the morning – it was awful as he was very unpleasant to wake but persistence paid off in the end. I could say he probably had about 6-7 accidents in the night-time training and has had maybe 1 since then – (when he was sick). Depending on your childs severity – try to treat his training as you would do a child without autism. Our daughter (not autistic or any other dramas) was not ready until 2.5 years during the day and 3 years at night because she still had bottles until that age. Just for the record (our son diagnosed at 3.3years old and also had a mild Intellectual Disability as well). Hope this helps, or if you would like to pm me please do. |
| aedavila08 | Gavin is 3 1/2 annd we’ve been working with him since last summer. I tried taking him every 30 min to hr and we would have occasionsl success. We decided to try aba therapy specifically for potty training since we have to pay out if pocket. Our routine now is taking him every 20 min and sitting for atleast 5 min and he gets kitkats after. We again have some success and eventually the next step is to completely take away diapers and have them clean up any soiling they do outside the bathroom. I have a friend her son is also nonverbal and is 4 yo; intensive aba therapy potty trained him but he doesn’t tell them when he needs to go, they have to take him every 2HRS |
| CarrieHoughtaling | I forgot to mention we also have a 1.5 year old we are potty training and sadly its a struggle as well cause hes following his brother and will only go once in awhile. Any thoughts with this as well would be greatly appreciated. |
| CarrieHoughtaling | My son will be 4 in July and still not potty trained either. Started working with him when he was about a year and a half. He knows what to do and does it perfectly sometimes but then other times nada. We have tried almost every potty chair out there, finally found a regular toilet seat with a built in kids seat. We have tried different potty vidros like elmo. Even got a huge bag of dumdum suckers and gave him one everytime he went, that lasted half a day lol we have 3 older children all take him potty with them as well as dad and I. We just found out he is autistic March 17th so this is all new to me. Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance and good luck to everyone. |
| KevinTelfer | JohnHogg Our 6 year old son pees in the toilet but will not poop there at all. 6 years of diapers is tiring to say the least 🙂 He is also totally non-verbal.
Best of luck dude, you’re not alone! |
| KellyAnnFawkes | JohnHogg i feel like your in the same situation that i was in with my 4 yr old autistic daughter. she just turned 4 feb 9th and she just started talkin. it was real hard in the beginning. i could tell she was so frustrated because she knew what she wanted but couldnt tell me. and it was very frustrating for me as well. idk how i did it but i learned her specific hand motions for certain things and i started picking up sounds she was making it for each of them. im guessing you have not hit that stage yet and unfort idk how to get you there however i can recommend what i did for my daughter that i believe is the main reason she is able to say words and even short sentences now?! now i am no doctor or anything but since i realized my daughter was autistic around her age of 1, i have been researching it like crazy. i learned that autistic ppl have heavy metal in their body, some covering their brain and some rooted in their gut. the metal covering the brain is blocking their signals so they can do some stuff but not other stuff. so i am in the process of removing the heavy metal in my daughter. i have been giving her wheat grass juice mixed with other juice because wheat grass removes heavy metals. also i completely cut out MSG, ASPARTAME, BHT, BHA, NITRATES, TRISODIUM PHOSPHATE, GLUTEN, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, RED 40, RED 3, and YELLOW 6 from her diet. all of those except the last 4 turn into heavy metals when ingested. i also have been giving her filtered water instead of tap water. because EVERY tap in every house in america has fluoride in it and that is also very bad for autistic ppl. i know its going to seem expensive at first but the results are WELL WORTH it. sorry i couldnt help you with you initial question but i sure hope this helps at least a little 🙂 |
| KellyAnnFawkes | my 4 year old daughter who is autistic sits on the toilet some times but that is it. i have had another girl the same age try and teach her so my daughter can watch and see what needs to be done but so far nothing. i think we are making progress though because at one point my daughter was terrified of the toilet. now she sits on it and just looks at me. now my obstacle is to get her to realize she has to concentrate like she does in her diaper. when she makes a “#2” in her diaper, she will come to me right afterwards so that i can clean her up. that is another plus. i just have to figure out how to teach her to do something about it BEFORE she goes in her diaper. i can not wait until she is potty trained. it is very tiring to say the least.. |
| JohnHogg | Need all the advice i can get. My wee boy coming up to 4 in may has no vocal communication at all. So it’s difficult to explain why, what, use stories to make it fun or anything….
I let him come with me when i go in hope he will realise what it’s for and maybe start to understand but at a total loss what to do next. Got a toilet seat for him so will try and get him used to sitting there and praise him when he does the business but can’t think what else to do 🙁 He is very bright and learns most stuff for himself but also pays very little attention to things i/we are doing so not sure he will pick up on what toilet is for easily. |
| ConnieSantos | No, my son is not toilet train he still in pull ups, how do u train someone whovis autism and mental retardation and the same time? |
MirendaR Many thanks for the post
I had a polarised experience. One child pottery trained himself after 1 use of the toilet & the other took years. Each child was different. I just accepted them as they were and let them set their own pace. It was the easiest thing for my blood pressure.
Hi I have add and I have meltdowns and I know when I am having one and I take myself into my flat and when I start feeling like I am getting angry I take myself to my flat where I can calm down
My daughter is 4 and I have been working with her for a few months now, at the start she didnt want to sit on the toilet, so I waited. I started her again and now she sits on the toilet with no propblem, in the morning I take her to the bathroom as soon as she gets up, and she usually pees, after that she wears her panties through out the day, her problem is that she will usually poop on herself, i take her very 20 minutes, to see if shell go, if I see her pushing then we usually run to the bathroom, her school also is helping out with the training, keep trying and be persistent.
My little girl will be 4 next month she mostly non verbal and she isn’t potty trained…every time I try to put her on a toilet she freaks out which I think comes from when she was smaller I had her on a changing table in a public restroom and all the loud toilets flushed together and scared her so I’ve hit a wall with potty training but I feel she wants to be done with diapers cause she will rip them off and go on my floor…. Actually it’s hard keeping any clothes on her at all here lately she has also had many adventures in finger painting with her poo on my walls….. Any advice ??!
Hi sharon. My daughter is 8 now and were still having a hard time potty trained her. Can you give me good tips
Here are some of the titles I write to help children cope with new situations.
They are based on our own experiences with our son who has a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome. Feel free ton contact me if you need any more information.
Charlotte.
CarrieHoughtaling Hi Carrie – I think you are trying when they are too young – what works for one child does not always work for another (meaning your older children). If your children still have bottles – don’t try until they are ready to give up the bottle – it will do your head in – especially your 1.5years. We tried a few times with our son before he had given up his bottle and it was a nightmare. We learnt that dealing with autism for our son meant all the usual milestones would happen later – that included toileting. Persist with your son who is now 4 but leave the little 1.5 year old for another year – let your focus be on the one who needs it most 🙂
CarrieHoughtaling Hi Carrie – i have just posted sharonmcmahon – if you want to pm please feel free to do so – my son is now 10 and a half – lots of hurdles but he has made huge progress over the years.
Our son, now aged 10, had a bottle (milk) until he turned 4 – it made it incredibly hard to toilet train as we could not monitor it easily enough. Once we stopped his bottles, it became much easier. We knew the signs for when he wanted to do no.2 but not so no.1 We would continuously watch (when at home) for signs of no.2 then race him off to the toilet – we had a child seat on our toilet (just a standard one that sat inside the normal toilet seat) and a step. He was of course not happy about it but we persisted – it took a while (couple of months). Lots of praise and cuddles even while he sat doing his no.2 telling him it was ok and good job. We noticed his nappies getting less wet during the day and then put jocks on. Initially within half an hour of eating or drinking we would take him to the toilet. He hated the feel of wet on him – (and still does now – 3 drops of wet on his clothes and he removed them – although he has progressed heaps and is much more resillient). We also sat him down to do no.1 which made it much easier for him. By age 5 he was fully dry during the day and by 5.5years dry at night. Night-time is tricky – we used to wake him up around midnight to take him to the toilet and also again at about 5am in the morning – it was awful as he was very unpleasant to wake but persistence paid off in the end. I could say he probably had about 6-7 accidents in the night-time training and has had maybe 1 since then – (when he was sick). Depending on your childs severity – try to treat his training as you would do a child without autism. Our daughter (not autistic or any other dramas) was not ready until 2.5 years during the day and 3 years at night because she still had bottles until that age. Just for the record (our son diagnosed at 3.3years old and also had a mild Intellectual Disability as well). Hope this helps, or if you would like to pm me please do.
Gavin is 3 1/2 annd we’ve been working with him since last summer. I tried taking him every 30 min to hr and we would have occasionsl success. We decided to try aba therapy specifically for potty training since we have to pay out if pocket. Our routine now is taking him every 20 min and sitting for atleast 5 min and he gets kitkats after. We again have some success and eventually the next step is to completely take away diapers and have them clean up any soiling they do outside the bathroom. I have a friend her son is also nonverbal and is 4 yo; intensive aba therapy potty trained him but he doesn’t tell them when he needs to go, they have to take him every 2HRS
I forgot to mention we also have a 1.5 year old we are potty training and sadly its a struggle as well cause hes following his brother and will only go once in awhile. Any thoughts with this as well would be greatly appreciated.
My son will be 4 in July and still not potty trained either. Started working with him when he was about a year and a half. He knows what to do and does it perfectly sometimes but then other times nada. We have tried almost every potty chair out there, finally found a regular toilet seat with a built in kids seat. We have tried different potty vidros like elmo. Even got a huge bag of dumdum suckers and gave him one everytime he went, that lasted half a day lol we have 3 older children all take him potty with them as well as dad and I. We just found out he is autistic March 17th so this is all new to me. Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance and good luck to everyone.
JohnHogg Our 6 year old son pees in the toilet but will not poop there at all. 6 years of diapers is tiring to say the least 🙂 He is also totally non-verbal.
Best of luck dude, you’re not alone!
JohnHogg i feel like your in the same situation that i was in with my 4 yr old autistic daughter. she just turned 4 feb 9th and she just started talkin. it was real hard in the beginning. i could tell she was so frustrated because she knew what she wanted but couldnt tell me. and it was very frustrating for me as well. idk how i did it but i learned her specific hand motions for certain things and i started picking up sounds she was making it for each of them. im guessing you have not hit that stage yet and unfort idk how to get you there however i can recommend what i did for my daughter that i believe is the main reason she is able to say words and even short sentences now?! now i am no doctor or anything but since i realized my daughter was autistic around her age of 1, i have been researching it like crazy. i learned that autistic ppl have heavy metal in their body, some covering their brain and some rooted in their gut. the metal covering the brain is blocking their signals so they can do some stuff but not other stuff. so i am in the process of removing the heavy metal in my daughter. i have been giving her wheat grass juice mixed with other juice because wheat grass removes heavy metals. also i completely cut out MSG, ASPARTAME, BHT, BHA, NITRATES, TRISODIUM PHOSPHATE, GLUTEN, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, RED 40, RED 3, and YELLOW 6 from her diet. all of those except the last 4 turn into heavy metals when ingested. i also have been giving her filtered water instead of tap water. because EVERY tap in every house in america has fluoride in it and that is also very bad for autistic ppl. i know its going to seem expensive at first but the results are WELL WORTH it. sorry i couldnt help you with you initial question but i sure hope this helps at least a little 🙂
my 4 year old daughter who is autistic sits on the toilet some times but that is it. i have had another girl the same age try and teach her so my daughter can watch and see what needs to be done but so far nothing. i think we are making progress though because at one point my daughter was terrified of the toilet. now she sits on it and just looks at me. now my obstacle is to get her to realize she has to concentrate like she does in her diaper. when she makes a “#2” in her diaper, she will come to me right afterwards so that i can clean her up. that is another plus. i just have to figure out how to teach her to do something about it BEFORE she goes in her diaper. i can not wait until she is potty trained. it is very tiring to say the least..
Need all the advice i can get. My wee boy coming up to 4 in may has no vocal communication at all. So it’s difficult to explain why, what, use stories to make it fun or anything….
I let him come with me when i go in hope he will realise what it’s for and maybe start to understand but at a total loss what to do next. Got a toilet seat for him so will try and get him used to sitting there and praise him when he does the business but can’t think what else to do 🙁
He is very bright and learns most stuff for himself but also pays very little attention to things i/we are doing so not sure he will pick up on what toilet is for easily.
No, my son is not toilet train he still in pull ups, how do u train someone whovis autism and mental retardation and the same time?