I have been inspired to write this blog because of some very special people in my life, and I am hoping you know who you are!!
I am not an amazing mummy, I have no special super powers, I am no better than any other mother. I love my boys to bits but I still get cross at them. I shout at them. I don’t have endless patience, I cry, and I feel like giving up at times. But I am not the only mummy out there having a hard time. I know some amazing mother’s who are also fighting their own battles and yet still being super mummy’s to their children!!
Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs, ever. I realise it was me that made the decision to have children, it was my choice! But honestly, I did not give it that much thought. I knew I wanted a baby, I knew I wanted a family, and I think that might have been as far as my thinking went. But once you sign up for this job, it is not one you can quit, its not one you can change for an easier one. You don’t get paid, you don’t get sick leave and you don’t get holiday pay, actually you don’t even get a tea break! You are on call 24/7, 365 days a year, for the rest of your life. I think even the best marketing company might have trouble selling this one. And yet, here I am, having happily signed up for the job, twice! Would I change it? If I could go back in time and think about it a bit more, would I? No of course I wouldn’t!
Since becoming a mummy, and one to not the easiest chaps. I often have been asked by people how do I do it? How do I cope with the meltdowns, the battles, the anxiety. I have never really given it that much thought. I don’t ever feel like I do anything special. I do no more than any other mother does or would do for their children. But since started to write and share my blog I have had a lot of people ask. Well, this has got me pondering, because come to think of it, how do I do it? How do I just not fall apart? Apart from T my long suffering husband and an immense amount of coffee during the day, finished off with a couple of glasses of wine in the evening, what is the glue that holds me together?
Well am I rapidly reaching the conclusion that maybe I might have been wrong regarding the lack of super powers I possess. Maybe every mother has special super powers?!
My super powers are without doubt, my family and friends!!
So, this one is for you. Not just my family, not just my old friends or my new friends, but everyone of you that has ever helped someone who was having a rough time. Be it, giving an understanding smile to a mother who’s child was melting down in the supermarket. Holding a door open for a father who was trying to run from a shop, child in arms, screaming and kicking because they had become overwhelmed by the other shoppers. Giving a warm smile to a mother in the playground who was having a rough day. Asking a friend over for a coffee when they needed someone to talk too. For a hug you have given. A text you have send. For the never ending support you provide, be it big or small. This is for you all, for each and every one of you, because you are amazing!!
I don’t want anyone putting me up on a pedestal and telling me how amazing I am. I am not amazing, I am just doing my job. Yes at times its shit. My heart seems to break at the moment on a daily basis. I can often reach the end of the day and wonder how I have survived and more importantly, how am I going to get up tomorrow and do it all again. I do it because I have to, its my job as a mother. I have two gorgeous boys who need a mother fighting for them. I have a husband who goes to work everyday to support us, who needs supporting and looking after. I can do it because of my super power; because I have amazing friends and an amazing family.
I get asked how people can help. I have friends who feel bad because they don’t think they do anything to help. Trust me, you all do more than you could believe. The fact that I know you are still there for me, even though I have not seen you for months, and I have not text you and said hello; you don’t ever hold this against me. The fact that when you do ask if I am ok, you don’t mind me talking at you for the next hour. You don’t mind that you don’t get a chance to say two words because for the first time in weeks, I am talking to an adult, so can’t seem to stop! The odd text saying hello, the wonderfully messages I have received since blogging. The knowing smiles I get at drop off and pick up at school, just saying; “I know, I get it, don’t worry” means so much.
My family are amazing and have helped so much in the last few years. I know my parents are always there, day or night if I ever need them; this in itself helps more than they realise. We have moved house to be closer to them, because of the support they provide. My sister in law, who is a teacher, who is always at the end of the phone to help with visual timetables, social stories, and C’s EHCP! My brothers who spend hours playing with the boys when they can, to help give me a break. C’s most amazing Godparents who bravely took on the role, who are not only fantastic with C but also provide never ending support to me.
In the last few weeks I have had a few pretty dark days. I have cried far too much and at times have well and truly felt like going to hide in a hole somewhere, far away. But then my super powers have stepped in. They have helped me pull myself together and get going again. Most won’t even think they have done anything, but how wrong are they! So, thank you for being my secret super power, it’s the best super power a mummy could ever ask for!!
You can read the original post on Lottie’s blog here.
She also has a Facebook page called Family Life and Autism . Please do like and share it with others in the autism community.