Kaelynn Partlow

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Autism – Tips for educators and caregivers from a therapist on the autism spectrum by Kaelynn Partlow

Kaelynn Partlow and Autism

Kaelynn Partlow and Autism

As a therapist, and a person on the autism spectrum, I feel that I’ve learned a lot about what works, (and what doesn’t), with individuals who have ASD, both in the classroom, and in one on one educational settings.

As a child, my teachers were often frustrated by my off task behaviors. I was highly distractible, and I wanted to talk about anything and everything besides the lesson. I suppose they may have thought that because I’m on the spectrum, I couldn’t recognize outward expressions of frustration, or maybe they didn’t think I cared? Either way, I noticed. I was well aware of every eye roll, sigh and groan they made in response to me. It made me believe that they thought I couldn’t learn, and it impacted my already limited efforts during work times.

As an adult, I see how harmful and unnecessary that is. Can teaching be frustrating? It absolutely can be, regardless of who your students are! However, if an educator or caretaker is feeling particularly frustrated, it is advised that they step away to take a few deep breaths, and then return once they’ve recollected themselves. If the frustration continues, they may want to rethink how they’re going about the lesson or situation. Remember that if you’re frustrated, your student is most likely feeling that way as well.

Another thing I see often, is a lack of positive reinforcement for appropriate behaviors. Too often children are told, “stop that”, or “calm down!” We need to make sure they know what they’re doing right! Even on a tough day, you can always find something to praise a child for. Even if it just, “I like the way you’re sitting right now”, or, “thanks for walking with me, you’re doing great!”

I think that frequent praise, or other forms of reinforcement would’ve not only improved my work ethic, but my self esteem as well!

Lastly, educators need to understand that sitting at a table all day isn’t what’s best for all children. Many children need to move in order to remember certain concepts. Table time is something required of most children, however, in many cases, it’s best to keep it fast paced and short lived. Meaning, make sure you’re keeping your student engaged, and giving breaks frequently. Breaks can improve focus, even if they only last two minutes.

As a therapist, I provide behavior specific praise at least 15 times an hour. This is both during break time and work time! I keep work times short, and as fun as possible.

If you’re an educator, or a caretaker, remember to keep your frustrations with students behavior to yourself. Know that they’re watching you more than you may think. Let them know how awesome they are, and what specifically they’re doing right! This is one of the best ways to ensure that those positive behaviors continue.

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Autism Awareness Month – A guest post on how we should see the autism spectrum by Kaelynn Partlow

The Autism Spectrum

The Autism Spectrum

Let’s start autism awareness month off by talking about what “spectrum” means. Often, many people interpret it to be a linear spectrum with “high functioning” people being viewed as less autistic, and “low functioning” people as more autistic.

This widely held view doesn’t portray the actuality of the spectrum because autistics differ so greatly. When a person has good communication and social skills, but high sensory needs and exhibits frequent maladaptive behavior, they’ve automatically broken the linear spectrum. That is why we must view the spectrum as a color wheel instead.

Because autistic people differ so greatly from each other, their individual skills fall into different areas of the spectrum. That’s why you could meet someone with poor emotional regulation and communication skills and advanced self help skills.

Viewing the spectrum as a color wheel helps us to break down different areas where autistics have difficulty. It’s important to break these things down so that autistic people can receive the appropriate assistance where it’s needed, and that those around them can have a more complete understanding.

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Autism and Relationships – the view from an Aspie – Read our guest post from Kaelynn Partlow

Kaelynn Partlow

Kaelynn Partlow

As an adult with high functioning autism, I do everything a bit differently than most, so it should come as no surprise that I have a partner who is different than most.

He is kind, intelligent and compassionate. It sounds cliché, but before he and I began dating, some of his good friends were autistic! He is knowledgeable about autism, and what he can’t relate to, he tries to understand.

I believe the key to autism and dating is understanding and open communication. Most people would say that dating can be complex and difficult, when you add autism to the mix, it can bring a new set of unique challenges. Often, those of us on the spectrum have difficulties carrying out social norms in romantic relationships. It can be difficult for us to sit through a long meal and “appropriately” converse with our partner’s family members for various reasons. Many on the spectrum also have different needs when it comes to sensory input, touch specifically. Sometimes we might crave more touch than average, other times, even though we care deeply for our partner, we may not want to be touched by them. It’s nothing personal having to do with the other person, it’s just different sensory needs/perception.

Most autistic individuals prefer to have a schedule or a plan for upcoming activities. They may become upset if that schedule or plan is altered in some way, especially without a timely warning. Adapting to or working around another person’s routine can be challenging.

Every relationship has its difficulties, and every one unique to the involved individuals. Autism has a way of altering these difficulties. It is always important to have open communication! Both people need to be able to honestly speak their minds about a given situation or activity. When dating someone with autism, it is important to know how that persons autism affects them. In doing that, it’s advisable to crate a plan for working through and or preventing meltdowns. To someone who’s not used to it, helping an autistic person through a meltdown can be stressful and upsetting. No one wants to see their loved one hurting. That’s why it’s important to openly discuss what is helpful, and what’s not for a particular individual.

What people need to remember, is that children with autism, grow up to be adults with autism. We have the same feelings and urges as anyone else. We just tend to express them differently. The right partner is understanding of that. The right person will be accepting of an autism diagnosis, and both people will seek to grow together. Each person should support the other, even if it looks different than “normal”.

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The Real Reason You Don’t Think I’m Autistic – by Kaelynn Partlow

The Real Reason You don't Think I'm Autistic - a guest post from Kaelynn Partlow

The Real Reason You don’t Think I’m Autistic – a guest post from Kaelynn Partlow

When I tell people I’m on the autism spectrum, the reaction I most commonly receive is disbelief. In the past, people have responded by saying things like, “wow! I would’ve never guessed!” Or, “really? Are you sure?”

The reason people are so shocked to find out I’m autistic, is because I don’t fit into their stereotypical view of a developmentally disabled person. I’m tall, thin and blonde. I have brown eyes and my hair is long and straight. The fact that I am female means I’m less likely to have an autism diagnosis, however, I am indeed quite sure that I do have a professional diagnosis. Despite the fact that I don’t “look” autistic.

What does an autistic person look like anyways? The answer is, they look like everyone else. Autistic people come from all ethnic backgrounds, in every shape and size. However, let’s address the stereotype image.

When we ask society what an autistic person looks like, we get a different answer. The person society has pictured is often a person with shorter, messy hair. They often wear baggy athletic clothes. The person that society imagines, is often nonverbal or limited in speech. This person “doesn’t like to be around people”.

This is the stereotype that people imagine when they think of an autistic person. It is incorrect, and harmful. Autistic people, like everyone else, can have an endless variety of wardrobe, hair styles and social preferences.

To further address this stereotypical image, the reason some autistics prefer shorter hair and loose clothing is due to sensory difficulties. As the saying goes, “once you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.” No two are exactly alike! Meaning that just because one person may dislike brushing and keeping up with long hair, doesn’t mean another wouldn’t mind. Some people like loose fitting clothing, while others like their clothes to fit tightly.

The diagnostic criteria has expanded to include people who are not verbally limited. So next time you hear about someone’s autism diagnosis, please don’t react with shock or disbelief. Instead, acknowledge and affirm their statement.